A Sea of Grass

Gonna lose the dogs in it.

Especially the old one, as he gets confused more easily these days.

But it’s okay!  Because Dexter is about to save the day.

(insert thumpy bass music sound (ie *oomchaoomchaoomcha*) here)

 

Dexter’s kickin’ it old skool on our new (to me – definitely NOT to this world) lawn tractor.

Pretty awesome huh?  The Sadist drove me out in his wife’s Big Ass Truck to pick it up this morning, scared the guy into dropping the price significantly, and then – despite always whining about his bad back or whatever – picked the damn thing up out of the truck and put it on my lawn, yelled “Don’t ever bother me again!” and drove over three people on his way out of the farm.*

(*may be a slightly exaggerated account of actual events)

My landlords are lovely people with their own lawn tractor, but it never occurs to them to mow the parts of the property that *I* use, like the lower field where we play ball, or the upper field where we practice agility.  So I went and got my own.  It’s not fancy, but it works!

Don’t worry, Dexter didn’t really drive it.  He’s too young to drive.

Spring drove it instead, though she deeply resented being given a chore to do.  She’s such a princess.

Hopefully Dexter is NOT too young to play agility properly.  Tomorrow we are entered in our last trial before I make up my mind about whether or not to enter him in Regionals.  He did so well at the last trial that I am really hoping it’s a new trend in his overall performance level, and this trial will be the dealbreaker.  If he keeps his wits about him and performs decently, I will enter him (and Spring) in Regionals next week.  It’s close to home this year, so I feel like I have to take advantage of the nearness.

He may not be the most coordinated dog to walk this earth (or hover above it) …

… but he’s absolutely one of the most enthusiastic …

… and, of course, the best looking :)

Now if it’s coordination you want, you need to look to the Terrier Group.

They are marvels, in their shrill-yapping, constant wrestling, super annoying way.

The other day whilst engaged in this activity, the roiling herring ball-slash-terrier scrap banged into Tweed, whose hind end is not the rock solid machine it used to be, and they knocked him over.  And he cried.  And I got mad and chased them all over the place trying to beat them to death with the Chuck-It, but the f*ckers are too fast.

Today we had a repeat performance, except they knocked Mr. Woo over.  And I laughed and laughed.  I’m such an a$$hole.

And speaking of a$$sholes, here’s one that is not speaking to me at the moment, because he got in soooo much trouble this morning for eating the stray cat’s food on my landlord’s porch and then refusing to come inside when I called him, so I had to chase him all over the damn acreage before I finally caught him.  He is a VERY BAD DOG.

Hah!  You’re an a$$hole too for laughing at me this morning.  You’re a match made in heaven.

I started Winter on the Zylkene on Thursday, and when I came home from work that same day, his bellyband was dry (it was also not on his body, as he managed to get it off, so that may account for its dryness, BUT I did not find a pee anywhere in the house either), so maybe it’s working!  That’d be nice.  He’s a pretty awesome little dog when he’s not biting me in the small of the back / my sleeves / my hair.  He learns new stuff really quickly and he is full of energy, and every night he stands up like a gopher and asks me to carry him to his crate at bed time.  Very charming and funny.

What’s that?  Did you say something about Kieren?

Kieren who?  What’s a Kieren?

Whyfor you pretend I not exist? This make Kieren sad.

SHHHH Kieren!  If I pretend you don’t exist, I don’t have to find you a new home!

OHHH!  This make Kieren happy!

Project?  Onto my dogs?  What? ;-)

Wish us luck tomorrow!  After all, if I enter Dex in Regionals, you get to see the disastrous video’d results!

Who wouldn’t love this face??

What a face.  Who couldn’t love it?

ME!  That’s who!  This dog is driving me bananas!

Winterjerk has Separation Anxiety (capital S, capital A).  I can’t even step out of the room without coming back to a dog popping around like hot corn in oil, and biting my arms and lower back and HAIR (it *hurts* to have a 20 lb dog Tarzaning from your locks, lemme tell you).  If I ignore him, he gets more frantic.  If I get angry at him, he gives me Elvis Lip and tap dances nervously, and paws at any patch of bare skin with his impossibly sharp nails.

I have to let him out to pee as soon as I step in the door because the excitement of seeing me triggers a flood of urine.  And speaking of pee, his bellyband continues to be soaked when I get home from work.  He doesn’t leg lift in the house anymore – he is now housebroken – but everything anxiety translate into peeeeeeeeeeeeeee (and more Elvis Lip).

I am thinking of trying him on Zylkene – has anyone ever tried this?  Any feedback for The Food Lady?

Here’s a face I DO love :)

Miss Piper had her 6 week post-op check up and everything is looking good, says Doc.  Three more weeks of on leash stuff and catrophen injections, and she should slowly start to resume normal activity.  She will be so very happy.  Soon she will look like this instead:

I wish I had something interesting to tell you, but I don’t do anything interesting these days!  I work, I sleep and I let the terriers do this:

and this:

And this:

And this:

As much as Winter drives me crazy, it’s awfully fun to see him play with Spring more or less constantly.  I think she appreciates someone who speaks her terrier language.  Also, it’s two less dogs I have to exercise myself as they exhaust one another.

It’s hard to do anything fun with this many dogs – even for me, the Queen of Taking Multiple Dogs Places, eight is too many.  It’s too many for my truck, and it’s WAY too many for my sanity.  I have come to terms with the reality that I do not have time for Kieren, much as I may like him, and he would be better served in a home with someone who either has fewer dogs, or more free time.

The problem is, nobody seems to want him (except for people who aren’t suited to him, like newbie dog owners and the like) :(

Also, it will be sad to break up this duo:

Though Dexter will be happy to have the Flying Squirrel back to himself again.

On the other hand, taking a photo of all 8 dogs LOOKING AT THE CAMERA is my piece de resistance, no?

Shall I translate for you?

  • TWOOIE: disgruntled
  • WOOTIE: high
  • KIEREN: ball?  BALL?  BALLBALL?
  • DEXTER: <inappropriate attachment to Food Lady>
  • TWEED: Again?  Really?
  • PIPER: I will kill you in your sleep.
  • SPRING: I don’t wanna sit next to stinky little brother!
  • WINTER: OHMIGODICAN’TBEARTOBEAPARTFROMYOUFOREVENASECOND!!!

Sometimes I think TWooie is the canine version of Grumpy Cat.

But lest you think he is always dour (and because I realize I am blogging so rarely lately that I have lost most of my readership and photos won’t cut it, so I have to step up my game), may I present you a rare video of TWooie *PLAYING* with the terri-erri-erriers?

 

Will that bring you back to the fold? Also, if one of you (*coughJULIEcough*) would just adopt Kieren, I would have more time/space (continuum? no wait, tangent!) to go on adventures with the dogs and blog it!!

Rain, Rain Go Away

Or else we’ll have to do inside-peanut-butter photos today.

What is this “peanut butter” you speak of?

Oh.  OH!  This is teh yum!

Please sir – err, ma’am, can I have some more?

Awwwww yeaaahhhh.

AWESOME!

Not to beat a dead horse or anything, but holy cow, are we ever sick of this rain.  And by “we” I mean ME, because the dogs don’t care.  There is not a single princess in this house, so all 32 paws are ready to get out there and churn up some mud every time they think I might possibly be entertaining the notion of potentially moving toward the front door.  But *I* am so tired of  hosing and toweling them off every time we come back inside … the other day it took me almost as long to clean them all as it did to exercise them.  Madness!  And we won’t discuss going behind them to wipe down the walls where they leave mud splatter, so matter how much I dry them off and scrub them … or the mountains of dog laundry I have to do every day.  BC Hydro is probably going to call the police to come see my grow-op, my electricity bill is so high, thanks to the dryer.  Why do I live in Vancouver again??

I guess the real question is: why do I have so many dogs if I insist on living in a rainforest?

AND DON’T YOU ALL START!  You are no friends of mine, you are all HORRIBLE HORRIBLE enablers!  I cannot keep Kieren. I just can’t.  I can’t do him justice, training wise, as there is just not enough time in the day to work with another dog, even if he is practically already perfect. AGH!

The problem is, someone is going to adopt him, and do amazing agility things with him, and I will have to sit sadly on the sidelines in the bleachers with my mentally challenged Dexter spinning and barking in idiot circles at my knees while I RUE THE DAY, rue I say!!

I feel like you’re dissin’ me.

Plus, I will probably get stuck with Winter, as I cannot housebreak this little devil for love nor money.  He’s pretty reliable when I am home, and I can leave him belly banded for a good 4 hours whilst I am out, but any longer than that and he soaks his diapers.  We had ONE work day where I came home to a dry band and I was so flippin’ excited, but that was just the once.  And peeps don’t like to adopt dogs that are not housebroken.

OTOH, he is so damn adorable I can’t stand it.  I have been getting a little irritable with him lately because he can be really needy and gets all up in my business if I am trying to work with/cuddle/groom/speak to/look at another dog, and when he is concerned that I might be upset with him, he stands up on two legs and does Elvis Lip at me and wiggles.  It’s like a “smile” but only one side of his lips go up, and every time he does it I melt like butter on a hot sidewalk.

And then I introduced him to peanut butter, and I about DIED from the cute.  Seriously.

 

And THEN someone (who is despicable and evil) showed me this:

I mean OBVIOUSLY he needs this.  Because he is Winter and he is coming reliably when called.  The dang collar costs more than he did!  But clearly I will need to scrounge together the cash to get it for him.

Why do terriers have to be so excellent anyway?

Piper does not think they are excellent.  Piper does not think anything is excellent right now.  I suck.  Cones suck. XPens suck. Being locked up sucks. No-walks sucks.  Therefore, she will be grumbly with me, she will break her cone, she will bust out of her XPen and walk around the house.

Clearly, she is already feeling loads better.

Her incision looks good and she is already growing hair back on her poor scalped leg.  Stitches come out in a few days and we can start some light rehab soon.  I have been letting her hang out with us if she promises to lay down quietly, because otherwise she complains in the XPen very loudly for long periods of time.  She is not a model patient.

But she does love to be photographed eating peanut butter!

Oh peanut butter.  You are so bad for us, but so so funny.

This photo makes me laff and laff … one bulging excited whale eye for the peanut butter, one scowling, suspicious eye glaring at Kieren for muscling in on his snack.

 

hahaha!  Oh my.