Conversation With A Puppy

Adorable puppy is adorable.

Why am I naughty?  Am I eating something wrong?  Are you mad at me?

I’m not eating anything wrong.  BUT YOU OVER THERE, DON’T THINK ABOUT TOUCHING IT.

You’re not mad at me are you?  

And you over there, I know you’re still thinking about touching it.

Okay I’m eating something wrong. But you still love me right?

You love me?  Right?

Yeah, you still love me :)

doG help me, I do too.  He is such a good (GIANT) puppy.  I did take some pounds off him and he’s more lean than roly poly now, but he still weighs about 26lbs.  He’s just … hefty.  He’s just a tiny bit smaller than Piper, and he’s got an enormous head to grow into!

But he is a very good puppy.  With the exception of a crazy moment he had today when he grabbed my hair and Tarzaned from it (hair is not meant to support 25 airborne pounds!) he’s very gentle, and super keen to do anything I ask for food or for praise.  He loves being told he is a good dog.  Wags his tail so much he got a case of Happy Tail and busted it open at the end.  That’s a happy meatball!!

And he wants to play with everyone!

Though he could sure use some street smarts!

Everyone tolerates him really well, and Fae is teaching him how to play properly, and not squash little dogs.

And until she drives that lesson home, Addypants will continue to avoid him.  She’s not as sturdy as Fae, so she gets smooshed a lot faster and harder, which makes her irate.

Even TWooie is tolerant of him, and TWooie is really not known for his tolerance (shocking news, I know).  But Easy is pretty irresistible!!

In other news, Mr. Woo has a tiny little growth on his eyelid, barely noticeable, but I think it’s bothering his eye because it looks a bit irritated, so I think we’re going to have to take that off.

Piper’s birthday is in just over a month; she’ll be 13.  Hasn’t greyed hardly at all!

And Dexter … bizarre and difficult to understand he may be, but easy to love and definitely nice to look at he sure is!

What’s Black and White and Crazy All Over?

You’d be forgiven for assuming I was talking about this:

But actually I am speaking of this!

Meet Easy, a 4.5 month old puppy I picked up last night.  Allegedly a border collie puppy.  I’m not entirely convinced.

He’s monstrously HUGE.  His head’s almost as big a fully grown human head.  His feet … doG his FEET.  They’re like dinner plates!  He weighs 30 lbs already.  There’s border collie in there for sure, but I suspect it’s mixed with an Indian Gaur.

He is, in every conceivable way, a perfectly awesome puppy.  He is people social, dog social, mostly housebroken.  He is crate trained, he sleeps through the night and let me sleep in until 9AM this morning without nary a peep.  He is super attentive, has a great off switch, minds well and likes to learn.  Plays ball, likes to tug, is food motivated, rides well in the car.  Respects the adult dogs, got Wootie playing with him in the first 24 hours, even convinced Winter to play.  He is everything I would look for in a puppy, except he’s frickin’ HUGE.  And he’s not all border collie.

I like my border collies lean and pointy and intense.  For all his many, erm, challenges, Dexter is – aesthetically-speaking – perfect.  I can admire his form all day long.

He doesn’t look like a fuzzy anvil glued to a soccer ball.

I admit I was hoping that the perfect puppy for me had landed in my lap and it was a sign from above that Puppy Time had arrived.  But I know me, and I know I don’t want a border collie / lab mix.  Plus, he won’t fit in my lap!  He’s bigger than Spring already!

When he tries to play with The Littles, it’s like Godzilla crushing a group of Oompa-Loompas.

But at least he will sate my puppy lust for a little while.  And someone is going to get an AMAZING dog.  He’ll probably go on to do great and wonderful things and I will be glowery and pissy about it for years.  I’ll look like this:

(this is Winter’s “you got a slightly larger me to replace me with, didn’t you?” face)

The nice thing is, I am not finding puppy impossible so far. Which bodes well for the future, when I do actually get a puppy of my very own :)

Cuz man, this is an awful lot of cute!

STOP. Hammer Time

whooaa ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhhh ohhh oh

At least he can dance to 90′s radio-friendly pseudo rap, because he SURE CAN’T PLAY AGILITY.

But first … oh hai!  *waves*  I haven’t been around the blogosphere at all because I’ve had like NO time off for weeks.  Either I was agility-ing, or working to make up the time I took off for agility-ing, or I was photographing agility.  And then there was the windstorm that cut out all our power for upwards of 30 hours.  When you’re on a well, no power means no water.  And no power means no … anything, except driving around aimlessly in your car to charge your phone so you can use it to tether your Kindle Fire so you can watch Netflix on your Kindle in the dark.  Good times.

So.  Agility.  Nationals.  Whut?  We weren’t there, we didn’t do REALLY BADLY (cough*42 out of 48 dogs in the 26″ division*cough).  What a gong show my dog is.  We got through the pre-qualifier in 4.5 of 6 runs, so I had hopes that we would end up somewhere in the middle of the pack at Nationals.  I WAS WRONG.  Such a disaster.  Refusal after off course after wherethehellishegoing??  Just ridiculous.  Me and Dex, we’re done with agility.  It just goes to show it doesn’t matter how much you love something, doesn’t mean you’ll be good at it!

Time to train the little gazehound … if I don’t kill her first for stealin’ eggs.

(in case it’s not clear – she jumped up on a TABLE to steal them there freshly collected eggs)

Dexter had his 6th birthday just after Nationals (he’s lucky he made it to 6) but we didn’t celebrate because F*CK YOU DEXTER.

Auntie Fiona and Rogue did pretty okay at Nationals though, you know, WINNING and everything. National Champions and all that.



I’m at a bit of a loss now what to do about an agility dog.  Because Piper – ANCIENT.  WooTWoo – HAHAHAHAHA.  Dexter – SUCK.  Winter – yeahright.  Spring – SUCKYPOUTYPANTS.  Fae – *!scared!* And Addy – ADHD.  Only I could amass this amount of dogs and having nobody to play agilities with.  ONLY ME.

For a while I thought long and hard about this:


But ultimately, I don’t have the time or energy for any more dogs right now.  I would like to have fewer of them, so I could do a new puppy justice.  Doesn’t stop me from looking at his photo 6,000 times a day, of course.  I haz the puppy fever, bad.

I be your puppy, k?

Stop that Winter!

I’ve still got Fergus … but I don’t want to keep him because he’s some kind of hillbilly.

Just kidding.  He’s a nice dog, and is mostly over the random weirdness with the odd stranger he meets.  He gets to greet so many people at work that he has pretty well decided there is no point in being on his guard all the time.  He’d rather climb on my desk and bark at my face to get me to play with him.  If there was one thing I would encourage everyone with a puppy to do, that would be to instill impulse control from the get-go … dogs are so much easier to live with when you get tell them to stop doing something, or go lie down, or otherwise not give in to their base desires to do something naughty!!

Fergus will make someone a nice dog – he is learning to control himself, and has developed manners he previously didn’t have, like wait your turn at the door, and let someone else get the ball sometimes, and don’t grab the ball out of the Chuck-It if the Food Lady doesn’t throw it fast enough.  He spends part of his time on a small horse farm with one of my staff, and has also learned he doesn’t need to be underfoot all the time in case one of the things you are about to do is pay attention to him.  Instead of being All About Fergus he is is figuring out how to share the limelight with his handler and form a working partnership.

With the exception of TWooie, who still snarks in his general direction (because he’s TWooie, what else would he do??) he gets along fine with everyone here.  One time he piledrived Dexter, just for fun, and I brought the Fist of doG down upon him, and now he doesn’t try to slam into my dogs anymore as a form of play.  I mean, Dexter may SUCK as an agility partner, but I’d still like him to have all his ribs intact!

Everyone else in the pack is doing well.  Piper seems to be getting a bit senile … she will be 13 in November, for crying out loud.  How did that happen?  But she has started doing this thing where, when I throw the ball for her, she gets it and then frantically runs to the porch and stands there with her pupils all dilated.  You know, instead of bringing it back to me to throw again.  It’s the weirdest thing.

Tweed retained most of his cognitive function right up until the end, with a couple of blips along the way.  He would sometimes stand at the hinge side of the front door and ask to be let out.  To be fair, the door used to open on the other side before my landlord remodeled the mud room and bathroom.  Once in a while he would have a post-dinner nap and then wake up and be pretty insistent that it was dinner time again.  But he never did stuff like this!  But then again, Piper has never been the brightest star in the night sky.

Mr. Woo, going on 10 (also in November) retains his stellar sense of fun.

Haylo.  I am Meester Oow, a gentlemanz with a snazzy brown goatee.  We haz never met before, Mees Food Lady, I assure you.

His Flamboyance(tm) remains its glorious self.

I think he’s going a bit deaf … I mean, he’s never been the world’s most responsive dog, nor the best behaved one, but lately I have managed to sneak up on him a few times, or he’ll seem surprised when I get annoyed that he hasn’t come when called.  Being the master of deception that he is though, it could well be all an act.

TWooie – still fat, still lazy, still hunting for his own breakfasts.  When he’s not sitting around doing nothing.

Dexter is …well, we’ve already talked about how I feel about Dexter!  After Nationals, The Sadist said something about how proud he was of all of us for doing so well, and I made one of my generally snide comments about how he probably didn’t mean to include US in that assessment, and he said “Hey, Niko didn’t do so great either!”  And I said “But Niko’s just a baby dog.” And The Sadist said “But Dexter is DEXTER.” Which says everything you need to know about Dexter’s success in … life.

This sums him up pretty well also:

The terriers are being terriers.  I don’t even have any recent photos of them because they spend all their time divesting the property of wild rabbits.  Winter makes fair attempts to rid our lives of Piper’s ducks as well, but thankfully the fences hold up pretty good :)

As for The Littles; I may be disowned by the border collie community for saying this, but I just adore them so.  Sure they are naughty.  Yeah they poop in the house as soon as it’s not a thousand degrees outside any longer.  Definitely they have all the work ethic of a couple of crackheads on a tropical all-inclusive vacation.  But they are so damn funny.  And cuddly.  They snuggle up with me under the covers at night and they don’t kick me in the neck, or fart in my hair.  That, ladies and gentlemen, is love.  And all they wanna do is play, play, play.  Happiest dogs on the planet.

Last weekend I got to photograph the Australian Shepherd Club of BC’s annual agility trial.  It’s always so much fun, I am super glad they invite me every year.  Shooting big events can sometimes be thankless, as everyone is an armchair photographer and thinks they could do better, but the ASCBC people are low key and friendly folk and they always feed me lunch.  Bonus!

Also, I got to photograph some dogs who came to BC for Nationals, and I got to have a little creative post fun in the editing department with their photos :)

I have not forgotten about your old dogs that I promised to photograph; I just haven’t had any free weekends for ages.  I promise we’ll get on those before the winter comes.

Anyway, now you are up to date on my life!  Things should be settling back down now to a more normal routine, so hopefully I will have a bit more free time to blog.

Remember; no matter how big the challenge, face it head on.

Who knows, you just might come out on top!

(Unless you’re trying to teach Dexter how to play agility.  You may as well just forget that altogether!)