Whatchoo Talkin’ ‘Bout, Willis?

This is the face of Suspicion:

Buuuut, this is the face of FUN TIMES!

And this is the poster child for Aftermath:

On this weekend’s agenda – more fence building.  Either building fences is a long, laborious process, or I have the world’s biggest yard.  Either way, it’s not quite done yet, but we’re almost there!  One more section to go, but that section happens to be overgrown with tall grasses and I just could not convince my arms and blisters to weedwhack that length this weekend.

Also, it’s insanely hot outside, and the dogs and I had to spend some quality time enjoying the weather before it turns ugly for the next 700 years / until next Summer.

You can tell the weather is still good, because Piper has gotten what has turned into her annual hot spot, and my annual shitty shave job chasing it up her back.


Where do these come from?  She hasn’t been swimming at all this year, so it’s not like she’s damp under all that hair.

Either way, it does not stop her from having a good time.

CRAZY good times.

This summer, my dogs have been stung by bees more times that I can recollect.  In all our years of living here, not a single dog has ever been stung by a bee, so it was sort of mystifying, until I discovered that my neighbour has started beekeeping.  I found dozens of hives on his property the other morning.  I think this would also explain the swarm box in the tree at the back of the property from earlier this year.  Thankfully none of the dogs has unusual reactions to stings (unless shrieking / shaking / twitching / throwing oneself on ones back and crying is unusual) so it’s not been a very big deal.  Just, so many bees.  So many bees they are photobombing my dogs!

Dexter is the only one I haven’t noticed getting stung (not that he would stop running long enough for either of us to notice) but I think that’s just because even bees fear The Insanity.

Spring has been stung, but she brings it on herself by chasing the bees.

Sometimes I really can’t believe Spring and Winter are related:

But even though he is a colossal dork, one of my very favourite things about Winter is that he shakes every piece of food I give him before he eats it.  At dinner time I give him a turkey neck and he stands on his hind legs and shakes it “to death” before he gets down to the business of consumption.  It’s been making me laugh every day for almost two years.  So he’s got that going for him.

I had a delightfully uneventful weekend of puttering and chores, and now I have 10 undelightful irritating canines nagging at me for dinner, so I have nothing awesome to write about this entry.  Instead, I invite you to enjoy some more photos of my dogs being them.

(especially Tweed because, you know, he’s Tweed)


Addy does some.

Apparently the plant life gets in the way of her digging massive, utterly pointless holes for unsuspecting Food Ladies to step into.

While Addy was landscaping, I was cleaning the hen house.  It is sadly lacking in chickens, as our resident coyote once again had a poultry buffet and ate my beautiful rooster and like 5 hens in the space of two days.  I chased him away at 2 AM with a broom, but the damage had been done :(  All I have left are 5 hens and three pullets I hatched out this Spring (two of which turned out to be roos, OF COURSE).

BUT, I got a little surprise when I was cleaning out the coop:


Totes adorabs!!

Now that summer is going away (boo hoo!) and it’s getting dark so early, and the coyote is bold as brass, I feel like a fenced area for the dogs would be a really good idea.  I also thought it was a good idea last year when I convinced my landlord to start building me a fence.  Alas, while he is a good hearted man with many fine qualities, finishing what he starts is NOT one of them.  He built a length of fence across the front of my house and then totally lost interest in the project.  10 months later I badgered, cajoled, texted, nagged and pestered him into pounding posts across the back of what would be the yard, which fired him up just enough to acquire two gates for the yard about 6 weeks ago … and then got lost in the vortex of landlordly ideas once again.  Then the bugger moved to Alberta.

So today I took matters into my own hands and decided to finish what some man had started.

I measured and cut some boards and started filling in the sad space between the fence posts, and put up the gate.  Then I ran out of deck screws.

photo 1

Whipped over to the hardware store and acquired more deck screws, then came back still all afire with my own good intentions.  And then my jigsaw broke.

I had a good old fashioned temper tantrum … even kicked a couple of things; then I went rooting through landlord’s work truck (same place I liberated the cordless screwdriver from) and found a circular saw.  SO MUCH BETTER than the jigsaw, btw.  And a few hours later, VOILA!

photo 2

We are now fenced on two sides.  It only took 4.5 hours (plus, like, 11 months).  And I am sunburned to shit, my arms are killing me (if in fact I still have arms) and I basically stuck my head under the tap and consumed about 900 liters of water.

There’s one 15 foot space at the other end of the house that needs a post pounded so I can fence in that side, and along the West side of the yard there are already poles from when horses lived here, but I can’t get to them without weedwhacking out the bush.  Which is not currently possible because the weedwhacker is broken, but I am going to fix that as soon as I figure out where to buy replacement gas feed hosing.  Then I am going to afix the livestock fencing to the fence, and a board along the bottom to keep agile Woos and hole-digging Addys in (and hungry bastard coyotes OUT) and I will – after 5 years of living here – have a fenced yard for the dogs.  Where I intend to put them often.  Harumph.

If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself, I tell you!  (Except I am totally going to pay my stepdad to put up the page wire, because I know from experience that I HATE putting up wire fencing.  It’s extremely pokey.)

The dogs were NO help whatsoever.  Apparently fence building is “boring.”

I have been elected Leader of the Resistance and I am here to tell you that your Saturday activity is dull.  Amuse us, or suffer the consequences.  kthaaaanx!

Look dog … I gave you guys a stick.  HAVEN’T I DONE ENOUGH??

I wonder how long it would take to beat her to death with this?  Hmmm…

I dunno, but I’m TOTALLY going to eat her once she’s dead.  Nom nom nom.

Yeah yeah, okay, I GET IT.  Here, play with the flying ring thing.

Yay!  Oh sweet routine of bringing things to you that you threw away in the first place!

(Nine dogs and only one flying ring thing.  Bound to be some arguments)

Unless you’re Piper, for nobody disagrees with Piper.

Although that is not strictly true anymore.  Lately Spring has been disagreeing with Piper sometimes.  Watching the dynamics, I think Piper is aging out of the Matriarchal role.  She’s nearly 12, and not so steady on her feet these days (I guess not everyone can be ageless, like Tweed) and Spring seems to be priming herself to step up to the plate as the incumbent.  It’s both fascinating, and sad.  I still remember when 5 month old Piper strolled into my house, looked at Briggs and said “I’ll take you eventually, when the time is right” and then turned around and bossed Tweed into white bellied submission.  It’s kind of heartbreaking to watch her body betray her leadership skillz.

Wootie, I am going to borrow your beatin’ stick for a minute.

SPRING!  Bad girl, BAD!!

Hah.  At last, someone other than me is bad.

Oh TWoo, don’t kid yourself.  None of your ‘bad’ can come close to trumping the badness of the Iggies.  Although they are getting better.  I have solved Ender’s “wake up whining in the pre-dawn hours” problem. What I thought I was Ender needing to pee was actually Ender crying because his blankie had fallen off him and he couldn’t get back under it.  And he MUST be under a blanket at all times, apparently.  I solved this by cramming a giant fleece blanket in there that takes up almost the whole crate and falls over him like a flap door, so he can never ever get out of it until I let him out of the crate.  Now he lets me sleep as late as I want.  He has also stopped running up to the road to yodel at passers-by, because I tie him to Addy.  That’s right – I have a long line that has clips on both ends and they are clipped together so until they figure out how to run away in unison, like a team of Clydesdales, they won’t be going anywhere fast.  HAH!  Plus, you know, the fence will solve a a lot of that.  He still jumps up and bites me in the small of the back when he is excited though, and he gets out of his blanket in his easy chair 80 trillion times a day and then whines / jumps at the back of my head / leaps on and off my desk until I settle him back in his blankie.  Spoiled brat.

He’s pretty happy though :)

As for me, I’m pretty dead-on-my feet.  I think I’ll go have a beer (this one’s for you, Sadist!) and bid you adieu.  Until next time, friends!

(insert clever title here)

I was looking for a song title with a reference to the number FIVE in it, or in the lyrics, cuz I was going to quote them for the title of this entry.  All songs about “five” are depressing / end of the world / impotent.  This hardly seemed fitting for the milestone that is DEXTER’S FIFTH BIRTHDAY!

Five years old today!  Five years of bliss entertainment with my whacky Dexter “Long Stride” Morgan!

As you can see, I made him a cake.  It’s nothing to rival Tweed’s 14th birthday cake, but I made it with love.

(Okay, mostly with liver.)

To celebrate, we went to an agility trial and Dexter got to agilitize ALL THE THINGS.  He only had one clean run today, but it was a good ‘un – he is now a Masters Agility Dog of Canada!  What a good, good dog he is.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEXTER!!

And since we were there anyway, Tweed got to run the same Gamble as a 6″ FEO – he *also* got the gamble, after some comical barking and running in circles.  He was so happy to get to play – I think I’ll throw him in a run now and then.  Keeps him young :)

Spring got her last Advanced Gamble and is now in Masters Gamblers.  She also had a clean Steeplechase run, so all in all, a good day for everydog and The Food Lady!

So good, in fact, that I got us all a present.

Meet Molly, a 9 week old border collie puppy that was surrendered to rescue today by someone wonderful people who bought her from a relative to stop him from selling her on Kijiji, and then handed her over to me.

She’s so cute I could just EAT HER UP.

I can hear you all collectively shitting your minds at the thought of me getting another dog, but never fear – she is a temporary foster only.  She is leaving for her real foster home shortly, because I can’t bring her to work with me and I don’t want to leave her alone for hours and hours every day.  Plus, I am full of all the dogs.

*kicks dirt* Stupid practicality.

If only I didn’t already have so many dogs.  ENDER.

But if I were in a position to have another dog, she’d be it!  She’s sassy, drivey, ADORABLE …  someone is going to extra super duper lucky to have this puppy!  I hope one of my agility friends will adopt her.

All in all, a most excellent day!  A birthday, a new title, and a puppy!  Plus cake for dogs, and for people too (thanks Linda!) and a sunny afternoon with all my favourite friends.  I feel lucky!

(PS – Happy Anniversary Fiona and Jeff!)