Happy Birthday Piper!!

Today is Miss Piper’s 14th birthday!  That’s right, the Grand Dame, the Matriarch, She Who Shall Be Obeyed has stalked this planet for 14 years, putting an end to noisy play fighting and raisin’ up fosters right!  About once a year she tries to kill herself in a spectacularly bizarre way, but in the end, she keeps on truckin’.  Here’s to many more years together, Fabulous Miss P!

This sweet, generous, kind soul has a message for everyone on this, the day of her 14th birthday:

F*ck you, don’t touch my cake.

F*ck you, don’t touch my cake.

F*ck you, don’t touch my cake.

F*ck you too, don’t touch my cake either.

And f*ck you, don’t touch my cake.

Fuck you.  Don’t.  Touch my.  Cake.

Isn’t she just the cutest?

(Special thanks to Auntie Fiona for picking up the “f*ck you don’t touch my” cake.)

It’s my birthday too – I am exactly 30 years older than Piper.  It used to be the WooTWoo’s birthday as well, until I actually read their paperwork and found out they were born in the summer.  Piper is happy not to have to share her birthday with anyone else.  I’m pretty sure she wishes she didn’t have to share it with me.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PIPER!!

Naked And Famous

Today I spent the morning shaving the poodle.

I realize that sounds like something out of the Urban Dictionary, but I actually, *literally* shaved the poodle today.  It’s all Auntie Michelle’s fault, because yesterday we were out all day shopping for pool noodles (successful) and beach balls (also successful) and liquid starch (no joy yet) and after all that and a giant bowl of pho, she suggested we take the dogs out for a walk on the property.  And during this walk in the rain, which was Michelle’s idea, DoDo managed to get, like, half a blackberry bush tangled up in her coat which took, like, half an hour to untangle.  And during this untangling, I realized that DoDo was a dog-awful matted mess under her friendly ginger curls.  I guess all that wet, muddy adventuring in the bush was not her friend.  Maybe a more poodle-oriented person knows a trick to saving a coat when it has reached this point, but I don’t, and my solution to everything, pretty much, is just “shave it off!”

So I did!

She looks pretty scraggly because there were some parts she was just NOT DOWN with me touching with the clippers, like near her lady bits or her armpits (ironically, areas that human women are most likely to shave!) and her feet are RIDICULOUS, but over all, I think she looks adorable all shaved short.  Much cuter than when she is poofy.  And she’s much easier to dry off too.

(although I’m not sure Dexter knew who she was anymore)

(I hope you didn’t think Naked And Famous was ME!  Nobody needs to see me naked; I’m not 24 anymore … pretty soon I’ll be 44!  Which is another blog post for another day.  Though it will still not have anything to do with me being naked.)

Ever have one of those days where you think the Universe is saving up a big dump, just for you?

Addy was pretty sure that happened to her today.  It was reasonably nice out all day, even sunny in the morning!  No rain.  This afternoon I decided we’d go play some ball on Mr. Campbell’s property and Addy said NO she was NOT wearing a shirt, thank you very much stupid human, OR a jacket if you please.  So of course as soon as we made our way over to next door, the heavens unleashed and it started torrential-rain pouring on all of us.  We all ran to stand under the giant weeping willow tree…

… but somehow the raindrops continued to find Addy, so she had to go hide in a big cement drainpipe.

And somedogs just kept hunting wabbits in the downpour.

And while somedogs were having fun in the rain:

The rest of us huddled under the tree (and in a drainpipe) until the rain eased up.

And when it slowed, it made some purdy pictures :)

It’s only November and I am already sick to death of mud, and my camera doesn’t enjoy getting wet, but still, there are some nice vistas to photograph at this time of year.

So while it SOUNDS like an exciting day (shaving the poodle, wet and naked Addy) it was actually a pretty chill afternoon.  Then it got dark at a ridiculously early hour because of the time change and we’re all hunkered down in the warm house for a group cuddle in front of the tv.

Addy hopes for either a drier day tomorrow, or at least enough sense to let me put her jacket on.

Why Hello There!

Long time no blog

So October has been, like, the wettest one on record or something, with the most consecutive days of rain EVER.  This is not conducive to photo taking, because my camera is made of sugar and will melt in all that wet stuff.  But yesterday afternoon the sun made a brief appearance for a few crisp Autumn hours and we made the most of it with a long meandering property walk, camera in hand.

Wootie and Autumn were made for one another- their colours are more than complimentary, even if His Orangeness has a tendency to disappear into the foliage from time to time.

His brother is just as bad, because he looks like Autumn leaves AND shadows all mixed together.  He’s vanished more than I see him on our walks.  Of course, he’s mostly slogging through ditches and getting all tangled up in the poky bushes while chasing invisible critters, which is the main reason I don’t see much of him.

He’s Wootie’s shadow anyway.

He’s also a bad influence, because when TWooie smells something delicious (real or imagined) he gets VERY excited and animated and starts racing around in circles barking the most excited bark in the world.  It gets everyone else all excited too, and when he takes off, a certain percentage of BADDOGS are certain to follow him wherever he may go.  His latest protege is none other than Her Royal Pestiness, Peetie “Pocket Collie Rocket” who becomes completely deaf when she is in the presences of The Instigator.

Hears Nothing.

She doesn’t even know what she’s chasing!!  (Of course, I’m not sure TWooie does either, to be honest).  But she’s all “Peace.  Out” and gone and if I stop screeching her name in vain long enough, I can hear the dulcet and metronomic tones of TWooieBarking fading into the distance of the acreage while Peetie crashes gracelessly in hot pursuit.  Yesterday she came back so covered in mud I thought I’d acquired yet another dog (I did not photograph that mess).

Winter goes with them too.  There’s no photograph of that, because HE WASN’T THERE.  The three of them are like a crime syndicate, immune to the laws of man and beast and, you know, hearing.  So very naughty.  There’s many an afternoon where I have stomped back to the house grumbling obscenities under my breath, and half wishing the buggers never come back home, but they always make a surprise reappearance right before I am about to shut the door in all of their grimy little faces.

Addy really REALLY wants to go with them.  She tries so hard.  But they don’t let her, because she’s a nerd in a geeky sweater.

Often they wear their coyote vests, but sometimes they are too wet to put on again after our last outing, at least for Addy, who is a delicate flower.  She doesn’t like wearing “clothes” at the best of times, and she especially doesn’t like wearing damp clothes.  And woe to the person who tried to put both a sweater AND a coyote vest on The Pants.  She becomes immobilized, like that little kid in the snowsuit in A Christmas Story.

But our friend Keryn of Farm Fairy Fibre has knitted Addy a neckwarmer to keep her vital bits nice and toasty without subjecting her to a full body geeky sweater.

neckwarmer

Although I personally think she looks adorable in her bright coloured shirt :)

Maybe I should put one on Peetie, so I could at least spot her as she vanishes over the horizon in pursuit of TWoo.

I remain on the fence, somewhat, about Peetie.  That sounds awful and more ominous than I mean for it to.  She has many lovely qualities; she has a rock solid temperament when it comes to people and is happy to meet anyone, anywhere, anytime.  She is also wonderful when meeting other dogs – like every golden retriever in the history of golden retrievers, her first instinct is to invite them to play with her.  She has excellent bounce back, she likes to learn (now) and she’s pretty much perpetually happy.  She’s generous…she’ll give you the last Chuck-It Ball in the world if you ask for it.

But.

She. is. INSANE.  I know I’ve waxed about this already, but she never stops.  The only way to get her to stop (stop moving, stop bothering the cats, stop bothering the other dogs, stop eating THE ARMS OF MY CHAIRS, all fabric everywhere etc) is to give her a bone to chew on.  And this is where Peetie’s generosity ends.  Because she’s a stone cold asshole when it comes to bones and she’ll fight you (if you’re a dog) if you so much as look at her precious chunk of herbivore.  So when I leave for work in the morning, it’s not like I can leave her a bone to amuse herself with, because I’d come home to beaten up and pissed off dogs after work.  Thus do my armchairs and various fabrics suffer from her freedom/boredom.  And I’m not crating her for 10 hours a day and at bed time to – I don’t want to have that argument again, and I’m not judging anyone else for what they do, but *I* am not comfortable crating any dog that much in a day.

But.

She’s an endless source of amusement for Dexter, because she speaks his language (crazy).

She has stopped puking in the car (hurray!).  She’s a beautiful jumper and likes to work at agility … not that I have enough time to work with her as much as I’d like.  She’s funny!  I dunno.  And who else would want to live with her?  If *I* find her too much, I can’t imagine what someone else would make of her!  I think the trick is to make it through her adolescence, whereupon she will recover some her sanity (assuming I survive that long) and be a lovely adult dog.  But OMG what if she doesn’t?  What if she’s always insane?

You know, like somedog I know.

Actually, Dexter has become quite lovely to live with in his middle age.  Except for the whole hate-on-the-TWoo thing, but otherwise he’s pretty chill at home and he’s a lot more fun to play agility with now.  Not, like, in competition, but just for fun.  And of course, he is the most handsome border collie in the world.

Mostly.

And then there’s DoDo, who is still with me.  I had lots of promising interest in her, but it’s all fizzled out for one reason or another.  I got a lot of interest from people who want her as a companion for this big standard poodles, but DoDo doesn’t much care for big dogs.  Dexter is pretty much her size cut off, and even he’s a bit much for her sometimes, like the time he TKO’d her by accident.  She really needs a playmate her own size-ish.

Help me find a home for her by continuing to spread the word!  She’s a nice little thing, but she deserves a poodle home … and a break from Peetie.

Here’s a pretty sunlit Fall photo of my beautiful old lady dog, because I loves me some Piper.

And also, although this is a dog blog, I cannot resist sharing a photo of my turkeys.  I LOVE my turkeys.  My turkeys HATE me.  I am forever picking them up and hugging them, which I have on good authority that turkeys do not enjoy.  But I can’t help it.  They make the funniest noises and their heads are so soft and fuzzy.  So much for them being Christmas dinners.  However, now that they’ve grown up a bit, it looks like I have three hens and a tom, which is perfect for making MORE turkeys, which I can then in turn sell for Christmas dinners.

What’s the most awesome about this tom turkey is that so far, he rarely displays so that he looks like the turkey you drew in elementary school by tracing your hand.  Mostly he just looks like a larger hen.  But there are two occasions on which he puffs all up:  1) when DoDo is chasing him or his hens and 2) when my friend Michelle comes over.  Other people come over and he ignores them.  but when Michelle comes to visit, he gets all puffy and struts around gobbling.  We don’t know if its because he really doesn’t like her … or if he REALLY “likes” her.

Also, before you go, keep this in mind; I believe I have secured a really awesome location for Christmas themed photo shoots this year; I’ll have it nailed down by the end of the week.  I’m not doing characters-in-costume drop-in sessions this year, I’m offering individualized, studio portraiture style Christmas-themed sessions with simple but elegant sets and the option of a photoshopped background.  Stay tuned – I am really excited to try something different this year.  Sessions will happen on various weekends throughout the month of November and December :)  Be sure to check out my Big Air Photography page on Facebook to stay in the loop!