Thug Life

Tough as f*ck little suckas

You don’t wanna mess with ’em.

They fast.

They fight dirty (or they’re just dirty because of all the rain and mud).

And their weapon of choice?


doG DAMN but I’m having a helluva time housebreaking Fae.  The Italian Greyhounds, at least, use the potty pads.  I hate the potty pads, but can live with them.  And Fae knows what potty pads are for as she will use them at work, mostly … but she also pees on dog beds.  At home, she has ruined one area rug in the bedroom, where she prefers to stealth pee.  When I let her out to pee with the other dogs, she stands on the porch and stares at nothing until everyone comes back inside.  If I go out with her, she also stands around staring at nothing until I give up and bring her back inside.

I have to actually put her on a leash and walk her up the road to get her to pee, but I can’t do that all the time – and it doesn’t always work.  Sometimes she will walk up and down the road forever and not pee, then pee in my bedroom.  I praise her like crazy when she does go, and she – I swear to doG – gives me a dirty look when I do.

But twice in the last 10 days she has climbed up onto my bed and peed on my quilt!  And always she does this when I go to brush my teeth and stuff – she’ll pee on the bed and then go lie down a couple feet away from it.  I usually find it by kneeling in it as I climb into bed.

She’s cute and I love her like mental, but the bed peeing … it makes. Me want. to rip out her bladder and shove it up her ass.

What gives man?  Any brilliant ideas?

You were probably wondering who Tiny Dog #4 is in that photo.  That’s Rhumba.  Rhumba has been living at my work since October, and nobody wants to adopt her.  She’s a special little creature with some funny quirks (skeptical of strangers, downright suspicious of men, strangers or not, and kinda bitchy/fighty with other dogs when she gets her back up) but you’d think there’d be a ladies only family out there somewhere who would want to love her :(

She stays in reception, not the kennels, but she’s been there for so long she thinks the shelter is her home, and that breaks my heart.  So I went and got her on my day off and brought her home, and I think I’ll just bring her home in the evenings for a while.  It gives me a chance to see what she’s like outside of a shelter setting / in a house (so far so good – uses the pee pads if she really needs to go, sleeps quietly on my bed at night without being disruptive, respects the cats, and learned really quickly how to line up for popcorn while The Food Lady watches a movie) and maybe help her overall confidence.

TWooie didn’t even get angry about having another dog in the house.  I don’t know if it’s because he’s finally given up on caring about foster dogs, or if she’s too small to bother with, but he hasn’t made ugly face or growled or lunged in her direction once.  They shared the bed with me last night, no fighting!

He did, however, get back at me by rolling in something vile this afternoon.

Well f*ck you and all.

Brother Wootie is still going gangbusters, albeit on three legs.  For a while I thought about not even doing the surgery, because he was walking without a limp almost at all and didn’t appear to be in any significant pain, and Dr.B did say “doing nothing” was a not unheard of option.  Not because I don’t want to spend the money on Noodles, but because he is going to be the world’s shittiest patient.  And he’s a screamer when he hurts too.  But then about a week ago he tweaked his knee and has been tripodding ever since.  I am now sort of trying to stall until the weather gets a bit better, as I know that trying to rehab in the dark and rain sucks.

He still wants to play fetch and everything though.

I’m still the king of the Wootie Toy.

I’ma pee on Wootie bandages.


  1. And happy Valentine’s Day to you, too, Food Lady. I have no brilliant suggestions; my 15 yo has lost her housetraining, sometimes, and I just blot it up (she’ll move a pee pad out of her way to pee on the carpet beneath it) and use an enzyme cleaner. When someone invents pet corks I’ll be the first in line.

  2. Giselle Scull-Monroe says:


  3. Could it be a uti?

  4. could be plain old ‘marking’. it’s bound to happen at least occasionally with that many dogs sharing the same space and person. your pack management skills are remarkable, but dogs will be dogs. by the way — i really really enjoyed that picture you posted awhile ago with ALL of them sitting nicely with their winter coats on. i know it was prior to getting the new lens, but it was still a heartwarming shot. any chance you could offer it for sale?? think of it as a group effort to raise money for wootie’s surgery :)

  5. Pat in Edmonton says:

    why don’t you just put doggie diapers on her when she is in the house. just a suggestion though. i am so envious of you, all that wonderful green grass. we just had another 4 inches of snow here after a freezing rain came through. dogs don’t seem to mind, at least right now its not -30. i know my critters are ready for green grass if anything just to chow down on it,

  6. My last cocker would pee on our bed when the suitcase came out of the closet.

    I am proficient in stealth packing as a result.

    It’s got to be the most frustrating thing. Dog corks – love to see those on Dragon’s Den. If you’ve eliminated the medical, and can be certain it’s habit as opposed to “I didn’t know better”, my choices are crate, umbilical & diapers. (I have another cocker now. The joke about how many dogs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The cocker answer is “who cares? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.” I hear your pain, sistah, I hear it.)

  7. i got one of mine to housebroken by giving her treats in the exact spot and at the exact moment she managed to pee outside so she stared to associate peeing outside with treats.
    It would appear, from 3000 miles away, that a fairly high percentage of your photos of the dogs playing outside seem to indicate that several of them are constantly bugging Fae, specifically the Iggies and the Terriers with Ender seeming to be the most guilty. If my assumption based on your photos is correct, it might have something to do with her peeing, especially on the dog beds… kind of her version of f*ck you
    One of mine has some wicked arthritis and her pain is manageable with a combination of tincture of Ginger (anti-inflammatory) in her food along with TONS of sweet potato, which also has anti-inflammatory properties. Turmeric is the best anti-inflammatory but she hurled it. Anyway, a combination might help Woo till you can get his surgery done.

  8. a uti as Sam suggested might be present, and Suzanne has a valid point if Fae is being bugged when she tries to pee, its probably overwhelming to be the newest pack member, even if there is lots of room outside, she may not have found “her spot”, My senior dog still does the dominance peeing on top of where the junior dog has gone, they are the same age but she has never let up in letting my “junior” dog know who’s the #1 dog. good thing my junior dog doesn’t give a sh_ _ ! Or it could be just a simple, she’s still young and it takes some dogs longer than others to learn routine, and she hasn’t connected the dots yet, I feel your frustration tho !

  9. I took a urine sample to the vet and she doesn’t have a UTI, though we have put her on a one week course of antibiotics just in case. The dogs don’t bug her when she is trying to pee – Fae *instigates* the “chase-me” games as she likes it :) I think she’s just being a shit!!

  10. I would think harder about whether Fae’s peeing in the house could be a reflection of some sort of underlying anxiety. That was the situation in my house, but it took me quite a long time to connect the dots. You have a lot of dogs in a small space, and you are gone for a large part of each day – there could be something going on that’s hard for you to notice. My dogs play great with each other when I’m there, but there is good evidence that the dynamic changes when I’m away, and even sometimes just when my back is turned.

    One clue for me was that the location of the pee was potentially indicative of the source of stress. When there was pee in the house it was always in certain spots (e.g. bottom of the stairs) that indicated that the dog was maybe unwilling to get past that spot to go outside to relieve herself. I know your situation is different, but just suggesting you look for clues of this nature. In fact, rereading your post, some clues are starting to jump out at me (e.g. behavior at work different from behavior at home)….

    Regardless of the cause, management of the environment was part of the solution for me. As much as possible, I made those pee spots unavailable to all the dogs (the awesomeness of interior fencing in our own homes!).

    Also, I discovered very late in life how wonderful it was to have a carpet shampooer of my own, loaded and ready for use at a moment’s notice. If you have carpets, check out SpotBot, which has something like thirty zillion 5 star reviews on Amazon and still counting. This device helped to relieve my stress more than the dog’s, but promptly and thoroughly getting rid of the evidence can only help reduce the likelihood that someone will use the spot again.

  11. A little shit who generalizes in ways you don’t appreciate, maybe? Potty pads are square absorbent indoor things that are good to pee on. Dog beds are square absorbent indoor things too. Fae would not be the first dog I’ve known to make a certain elegant deduction, and maybe check out the absorbent quality of other vaguely similar things for good measure. Or who knows…dogs can be so maddening.

    Good luck and lots of healing vibes for Wootie.

  12. I recently adopted an anxious Doberman, who despite having supposedly lived the whole previous 13 months of her life in a house with the same owner, had no idea that peeing preferentially inside the house and especially on the bed are not The Thing To Do. And the more nervous she is, the more she wants to drink, and the harder she finds it to relax outside and find a spot to pee in. She does know we don’t WANT her to pee inside, because she’s sneaky about it. So negative reinforcement was impossible. And a lot of times the pee spots were small – she didn’t even have to really go! So frustrating.

    She’s mostly house trained now. I ended up just treating her like a puppy. Stopped letting her alone in the bedroom ever, took her out every 1-2 hours during the day, wasted a whole bunch of my time standing around alone with her waiting for the moment she pees so I can give her the ‘go pee’ command and lavish her with praise and lots of high quality treats. I think she holds it indoors now on purpose because the more pee she produces outside the more ecstatic I act, haha.

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