Mmmm … tastes like chicken!

Never fear, my little Monster is no chicken-killer.  That job is reserved for … other chickens!  The bastards killed and ate my two new peeps!  Chickens suck.  I am trying again with 6 more eggs, but this time the hen is locked in a dog crate so nobody can murder her babies when they hatch.  See now, this is exactly why I do not feel bad about eating chickens!

Monster (Bagel just did not roll off my tongue – plus she is a teeny weeny Yeti!!) continues to be … small.  It’s unbelievable to me how small she is, and also unbelievable that she has not yet been trampled.  She can haul ass pretty quick to get out of the way of the stampeding collies, and Dexter lives under the threat of death if he runs her over like he did to Wootie last week.  He’s so afraid he’s tiptoeing all over the damn place.

I wish she would stay this size forever, it’s very convenient to manhandle/snuzzle/snorfle/tuck her under my arm.  She’s about 6 lbs now; here is a (blurry but whatever) photo of her next to Wootie – who is not very big (not from the ground up anyway … girth is a different topic!) – so you can see how itty bitty she really is.

Earlier on our morning walk I caught her hanging onto Dexter’s tail as he went running after his ball – she bounced along the grass like a can tied to a car bumper, but refused to let go.  Wish I’d had my camera with me then!

She makes even the terriers look big.  But nothing can make them look less crazy!  Someone said to me recently that I had to ‘stop adopting dogs and pretending they were related to my other dogs’, as though I were a 4 year old with imaginary friends.  Pretending, huh?  It’s just my imagination, I guess, that Spring and Winter are the same dog split in two?

Well, here’s a dog that is definitely NOT related to any of my dogs.  In fact, I’m not even sure what he is, exactly.  What do you think?

His name is Riley, and he is 8 months old.  He was surrendered to rescue as a border collie X siberian husky, but I’m seeing English Shepherd.

He’ll be up for adoption soon.  You probably want to adopt him.  And it will distract you from trying to adopt my mini Yeti!

This time next week I will be at Regionals, with my little superstar Spring and whatever form of HELLDEMON FROM THE BOWELS OF HADES that Dexter chooses to take that day.  Are you tired of me complaining about Dexter yet?  Me too!  But he’s sure not good for anything else.  *grumble*  Last night at class he couldn’t make 6 obstacles without losing his frickin’ nut – it seems our two month period of success has screeched to a halt, and he has reverted to his moronic, spinning-plates-for-eyeballs version of himself.  I marched him out of class and put him up in the truck, and have washed my hands of him.  I can’t get my money back for his entry – and it was hard to come by too, as I am poor – so I either eat the $200 or I enter him and humiliate myself.  Lose-lose.  He is the WORST example of “get a dog through rescue!  They make great agility dogs!” EVER.

Last year I decided to just let it go and accept that he wasn’t mature enough yet to play the game.  This year I think I have to let it go and accept that he just can’t play agility ever.  He is almost 4 years old and still can’t complete a course.  It’d be one thing if he was a mostly awesome dog to play with but had one or two weird quirks, but the opposite is true – he is mostly quirks with one or two moments of comprehension.  He’s not even a training _challenge_ worthy of increased effort, because he does things that make NO sense, and he does them routinely, and nobody can figure out why.  Moreover, he doesn’t repeat them, so there’s no pattern to break down.  Last night he just left mid course and started doing obstacles elsewhere, nowhere near me and not even like he was taking a line I was trying to call him off – it was just totally f*cking random!!

His sister Ginny Bop recently got her ATCh (yay Ginny!  So awesome!).  Dexter is still flailing about in Starters.  *Spring* has more Qs than he does, and she’s nearly as fast as he is, AND she has iffy contacts.  Really?  REALLY??  I clearly picked THE WRONG DOG.

After Regionals, I am going to give up his class spot to someone else with a worthy dog so they can train with The Sadist.

Six (well, 9 at the moment!) dogs in my house and only Spring to play agility with.  This pretty much blows goats :(

I need to find my happy place.  Maybe I should look to TWooie for inspiration.

Or maybe not.  Because he’s not very zen either, judging by the hole he put in Kieren for the crime of running past him.

Poor Kieren.  Bless his heart, he didn’t even fight back, he just sat down and tried to reach the owie to make it stop hurting.  I wish he had kicked TWooie’s ass!  Where is Pfeifer where you need her!  She could drive her point home when TWoo was being an a$$hole.

I wish someone I love would adopt Kieren, because I love HIM so much I can’t imagine giving him to anyone lesser.

Maybe whoever adopts Kieren will take Dexter “Shithead” Morgan too!

Wish me and Springles luck next weekend!  She is not really ready to play with the big kids yet in major competition, but she is so full of try.  I love that little dog like the dickens!


  1. Holy Woof! That Monster is adorbs. I’m in love. How much bigger will she get? Just what the woof is she?

    PS – Do you have any use for one of the big bags of ToTW kibble? I won a bag and it’s going to a rescue or shelter that will be able to use it. Email/Facebook/Tweet or Carrier Pigeon me if you can use it!

  2. Good Luck with Spring-a-ling! Would love to see video.

    Maybe rehome Dexter and train Kieren? (Unless you are just being momentarily done with him, not permanently done with him!)

  3. I donno, Riley’s face reminds me ALOT of a husky cross I know, and they’re sure she’s half husky cause they know her mom. Especially that face on pic.

  4. I’m sorry about Dexter. I did think that you putting him in your truck when he goes nutty and refuses to listen might reform him but it doesn’t sound like it. My Border Collie, Logan, turns 7 this year and still has not really matured. He has such familiar facial expressions, behavior and appearance with Dexter that they must be buzzin cousins! My sympathy.

  5. Maybe Riley is husky/rough collie cross? It’s that nose…as for Dexter, maybe he’d like another dog sport – one where he doesn’t have so many things to choose between/decide about? There are so many to choose from! Good luck with Spring at the competition, she’s a pretty awesome little dog.

  6. Cricket says:

    Riley definitely has the fur and conformation of a mix that my boyfriend used to have–he was a short-haired version of a rough collie mixed with a shepherd… I can definitely see the husky in the face though, too. I love Kieren and wish you luck with Spring AND Dexter next week… maybe he’s just reversing his usual behaviour– instead of being “on it” in class and batshit crazy on the course, he’ll be “on it” during regionals and psycho-dog in class? Here’s hoping!! How’s Miss Piper?

  7. I dunno, that Dexte/Kieran deal looks reasonable. They obvs. get along.

    I continue to envy you your Springaling. Great dog!

  8. I dunno, that Dexte/Kieran deal looks reasonable. They obvs. get along.

    I continue to envy you your Springaling. Great dog!

  9. You have probably already tried this with Dexter but with my crazy dog,before an agility run, I would have to take her outside and throw the ball over and over. It burnt off a lot of energy and she did better in the ring. I know they say you shouldn’t have to do this but what ever works. Also another thing that worked for me in practice, right when were things were starting to go wrong, I threw the bait bag/toy down. This broke the cycle of her going off and doing her own thing. I know it seems like I was rewarding mistakes ect.. But it work. She was calmer and more focused in the ring. She is so much better now. Just a thought. I’m not trying to tell you what to do. Good luck a Regionals !

  10. Riosmom says:

    Is Dexter the same off an agility course? That is, does he go running off when playing or going for a walk with you and/or with the pack? A friend had a BC like Dexter – once on a gambler’s course, the dog had taken half the obstacles on the course before his handler had left the start line and when she caught up with him and tried to send him to the gamble he wouldn’t leave her side. I would have decked him on the spot. The sad news is that he never changed in agility but did become a good herding dog. Good luck at the Regionals with both Spring and Dexter. And don’t forget to get videos for your loyal fans!

  11. suzanne says:

    Oh but you DO have another dog to play agility with! His name is Kieren. I think, if I were you, that before I adopted out a dog that I love that much I would put him in Dexter’s spot with the Sadist for a while and see how he comes along. You said a while back that he was doing really well in your back yard so perhaps that will translate to the ring if you give him the chance. The sdoGs have smiled upon you.

  12. Arwen Lune says:

    I just added ‘Mini Esky’ on my ‘list of dog breeds to look into when I can finally get a dog’. Shame you hardly see them here in Europe, because that is some adorable doggitude.

    (My black cat started out as Katja and then rapidly because ‘Monster’, ‘Little Dragon’ and finally ‘Spook’ (ghost). Sometimes you just have to accept that whatever you call them most often is their name :-)

  13. Spring Ahead says:

    Riley looks ESy to me…and I have two ES mixes. But also perhaps husky! Hope he finds a forever home soon (or has already…I’m way behind in stalking TFL and co).

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