My dog thinks he’s Hitler

Seriously?  When did Tweed grow this mustache?

Of course, he is not very intimidating with that piece of grass on his tongue.  It kind of ruins the whole effect.

Besides, he could never be as terrifying as the dastardly duo.

You can just totally tell they are plotting something.  Something evil.  Something, possibly, involving a dead, rotting fish.  And may I just say that the stench of dead rotting fish + two wet dogs in the morning is particularly unpleasant when one is mildly (or a lot) hung over.

I had one of those mornings where when I woke up to see the sun streaming through the window shades I was extremely resentful of its bright happiness.  I almost would have preferred some windy rain, so I would have an excuse not to go outside at all.  But there is only one tried and true remedy for a red wine hangover:

This is the face that makes me feel like the opposite of wanting to vomit.

How can you just not feel instantly better when that’s what is dancing around in the early morning sun in front of you?

Dexter, OTOH, is getting on my nerves.  I have never had a dog who *STARES* at me so much, and for such prolonged periods of time.  He is either asleep, or he is staring at me.  Even when he was giving my sister, who visited last night, big full body hugs and cuddles, he was staring at me.

Every. move. you. make.  I’ll be watching you.

I’m starting to feel like I should be bustin’ out the jazz hands and entertaining him with some tap dancing or something every blessed second of every waking moment of every goddamn knock it the eff off staring at me day.  If he were a person, he’d probably get arrested for stalking me.

So to escape the staring or a little while, I trundled myself off to the agility trial down the road to see what was shakin’, and left Starey Von Lookypants and his gang of merry misfits at home.  We didn’t enter this trial because I am, frankly, kind of tired of trialing at the moment.  I’m actually just a little tired of agility, period.  I tend to get a *teensy* bit obsessed with stuff (now you know where the dog gets his obsessive staring from) and forget that it’s just supposed to be fun.  Recently I realized that I’m not having that much fun running Dexter in agility, which could mean that I need to take a break for a bit and try and remember that it’s just a silly game and sucking at it isn’t the end of the world.

So I mosied over to the trial to say “‘sup” to my pals.  And because the universe hates me, and likes to f*ck with my head like that, I got Tweed’s Expert Standard Bronze ribbon that he’d earned at his last trial without me knowing.  Ribbons just make me want to try harder, so that was just mean!

But oh so pretty :)

Hitler dog controls your obsessive tendencies.

You heard the man.  Dance, bitch.  Amuse us.

It’s hard not to be happy when the sun is shining, and you have a big extended family :)

Even if you have to exile one because it stinks like dead fish.  But he’s cute from a distance.

Happy weekend, ya’ll!


  1. Piper is so beautiful.

  2. Bwahahahaha! “Starey Von Lookypants” I can’t stop laughing! Thanks for a wonderful post!!!

  3. Umm… Is Dexter in mid-jump in that group shot? Or does he just have exceptional balance? It’s a pretty amazing pose.

    As for him staring at you all the time… I wonder if he’s learned that from all the photography, or does he have naturally intense eye contact and that’s WHY he photographs so well?

  4. One of my dogs, Bear, also has the hitler mustache. I think it’s so cute and gives him personality. Love Tweed’s (and your) ribbon.

  5. Personally, I think Piper’s Hitler moustache (in the last photo) seems more realistic in a scary sort of way! I also wondered about Dexter in the family photo – leaping or balancing? I thought maybe he was crouching down to be everyone else’s size!

  6. Just getting to reading your latest post as I was, alas, at an agility trial. All I can say is that I completely understand what you’re saying. Sigh. I do love the group picture — Dexter scares me :)

  7. To be clear, in the group photo Dexter is hopping up and down in place because after group photos comes the release command, and he was excited. He does tiny little front feet hops because a) he knows he’s *supposed* to be staying still (but can’t) and b) he gets in trouble when he does the BIG HOPS, which are generally accompanied by BARKING in my face and c) TWooie will bite him if he makes BIG HOPS. :)

  8. Love all the happy Tweed photos. And yes, Dexter is scary. It always looks like his pupils are smaller than the other dogs’. That adds to the scare stare.

  9. Love the shot of Dexter standing akimbo–he looks like some kind of wonderful, dastardly hell hound. And that hell hound wants to be entertained.

    That’s one handsome extended family you’ve got there, FL–I love that Starey von Lookypants could hardly stay put for it. Once again, you hit it outta the park–even with that red wine hangover.

  10. I also have a starer/scarer. My JRT will sit and stare at my husband and I when we watch TV together, are cooking, are eating, when I’m on the phone, when I’m in the bath, while I’m reading a book. We’ve had him for just about six years now and I’ve just gotten used to it. In the summer, every so often, I will flick water at him after I wash my hands. Then he gets all bent out of shape and goes moping about until his sister pins him down and licks his ears for the better part of an hour. But he hasn’t tried to kill me yet, so I figure he’s just admiring my husband and I and trying to figure out that terrible quandary: “Four legs good, two legs bad? Or two legs good, four legs bad? Hmm…”

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