You’re bad. It will come back to bite you in the ass

Or in this case, the face.
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I realize it’s difficult to understand what’s going on in that crappy photo, so let me narrate.

The players: Me.  Wootie.  One extremely large dead fish.
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The scenario: Wootie gleefully rolling in the dead fish.  Me screaming “Stop that right now!  I SAID STOP IT!  STOP IT STOP IT!  Cookie?  I WILL BEAT YOUR BRAINS IN WITH YOUR OWN DEFORMED SKULL YOU MORON, NO ROLLING!!”  More gleeful rolling in the dead fish.

FINALLY, he figured he was well coated and decided to come get his cookie.  But alas, he was bad, and it came back to bite him in the face.  I don’t know what kind of fish it was, but it was longer than Woo and had Really Big Teeth.  One of which snagged in his scraggly mane and wouldn’t let go.  So when Woo tried to come back, the fish came with him.  The dead weight fish that would not release him from its jaws.

The result: Wootie screaming in terror, trying to escape the fish trap.  Me rolling in the mud laughing until I cried.  Hence the just one shitty photograph.

But I was bad, so it came back to bite me in the ass.  While I was rolling on the ground, Piper skipped down the hill to roll in the dead fish too.  It released Wootie and they both returned, stinking of dead fish.  So I had to bathe two dogs this morning.

OTOH, two dogs had dreaded baths this morning.  Ha. Ha. Ha.

TWooie was bad to a mole, so it came back to bite him in the mouth.

I’m uncomfortable!!
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TWooie doesn’t believe in merely digging for moles, when scooping the earth out of the way with his mighty jaws adds an extra, powerful tool to his hunting resume.  But moist soil out here has the consistency of peanut butter, which means he gets loads of mud stuck to the roof of his mouth.
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It clogs up his jaws … so the mole got away.  HAH!

I must have been bad, which is why the Chicken Gods have decided to visit retribution on me by hatching out roosters in my neighbours’ flock.  I was awoken today by the sound of many roosters heralding the still-far-from-arrival dawn.  On my day off.

But then again, I must have been good, because I have the World’s Best Puppy.

Why thank you.
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Not you, Dexter.  I’m talking about Blue.
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Blue is a little slicky from Yakima.  He is some kind of border collie mix, dunno with what, and the resident dog where he was living broke his jaw when he was a bit younger (it seems to have healed up just fine) so his days were definitely numbered in that house :(  Because we have wonderful and caring volunteers in our network, Mike and Marian saved the little feller (and 9 other dogs!) and drove them all over Hell’s Half Acre to get them into foster homes yesterday.  And one of our lovely volunteers on this end scooted down to Seattle to collect the little guy and bring him back up here.  Thanks Alexis!

Blue is the Best Puppy In The World because he slept through the night in his crate without a peep, from 9pm last night until 8AM this morning when I finally dragged myself from my rooster-interrupted coma.  He then promptly peed on my area rug when I opened the crate to let everyone out to pee, but it’s a small price to pay for this much cuteness.
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He has one eye that is almost all blue with a sliver of brown, and the other is all brown with a sliver of blue.  He’s built like a brick shithouse, but he’s a big wussy.  Right now he is playing with some puppy friendly toys in my bedroom and crying because he wants to come in the living room, but Scary TWoo is in here.

I like him lots, but he’s heading off this afternoon to foster care with Dana, because I have Max coming to stay over Christmas, and if I kept both here TWooie’s brain would start exploding like popcorn.

But I did want to share with you this handsome Christmas gift!
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And in case I don’t get a chance to post again before Christmas (I work on Christmas Day … someone’s got to feed the dogs and cats and bunnies at the shelter!) I wanted to wish you all the very best Christmas EVER, because you’re the best blog readers a gal could ever have.  You all deserve really awesome presents!

Happy Holidays to all my friends!

Comments

  1. Aw, the dead fish! The dead fishhhh! Our dogs always manage to find poop to rollin eat, or both. But dead fish is infintely worse; you win. Merry Christmas, FL–you’re a kind soul to be feeding all those animals on Christmas Day.

  2. Hmmm, I’m so grateful for the snow which has covered up the vast majority of our dead roll-able fish here in the Shuswap. Holy Crap that Blue is a cutie!

  3. I can totally hear you doing that, too! “NO! BAD! STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!! Cookie? BAD NO!!”

  4. Hmm; slick, built like a brick outhouse – BC/pit bull?

  5. The Food Lady says:

    Could be, but not based on the appearance of his sibling. I’ve no idea what he is!

  6. All that trouble to get that marvelous dead fish smell and you just ruin it.

    Humans.

  7. Seriously I don’t know what kind of strange ritual your dogs do whenever they roll over fish, dead fish. Completely at a lost on that one, I’ve never seen or heard anything like that before.
    Anyway Dexter is a seriously cute puppy and a really good competitor to Mr Tweed, but I have to recognise that Blue is kind of a dandy dog, and looks very well behaved so it’s going to be a pity not seeing more of him in the blog.

    Have a very Happy Christmas with all the gang, your family and friends!! :D

  8. Merry Christmas to you and the crew, too! From me and the Happily Evfur After dogs in Pennsylvania.

  9. Hahahahaha! I can see that poor dog trying to escape from the angry squished-from-all-that-rolling dead fish. I would have been rolling on the ground too!

  10. Ah poor Wootie, attacked by a dead fish! Video would have been priceless.

    Happy Christmas to you and the gang Food Lady!

  11. Merry Christmas to you and the gang. I love this blog!

  12. He IS cute!!!

  13. Hello, Blue! What a cutie.

    My grandma’s dog figured out that if she got whatever rancid foul thing she wanted to smell on her leather collar, there wasn’t much anyone could do about it. I could put her in the shower and get her all scrubbed, but her collar was still going to smell like prize roadkill. Very canny, eh?

    Merry Christmas, Food Lady and fuzzy folks!

  14. The Food Lady says:

    “My grandma’s dog figured out that if she got whatever rancid foul thing she wanted to smell on her leather collar, there wasn’t much anyone could do about it. I could put her in the shower and get her all scrubbed, but her collar was still going to smell like prize roadkill.”

    Not in this house! Everyone’s collars went into the washing machine today for their monthly cleaning. Seemed like an appropriate time to do it ;-)

  15. The dead fish is a spawned out salmon – when they come up river at our place we avoid it like the plague – salmon poisoning is tooooo nasty to risk. Besides I feel your pain with rolling in them, not too many things can compare to stinky fish fur. ewwwwwwww! YICKY! (PS Blue is a doll!)

  16. Merry Christmas to you too!

  17. That fish’s hanging on for dear life (or death) to Wootie is hilarious! Maybe he’ll never roll in stinky fish again?
    My Skye is from some weirdo genetic pool that has determined rolling in rancid dead things is beneath her. She just squidges up her face and tiptoes past the offending smell. Really. I know. It’s a miracle.
    And I agree that Blue is gorgeous. No idea what he’s mixed with.
    Happy happy Christmas to you and the gang, esp. since you need to work on the big day. We all love your words and pics.

  18. Blue (who needs a new name!) had a second dry, quiet night in his crate which officially makes him the best puppy ever! He’s greeting the dogs at daycare appropriately and did great meeting people at our flyball party last night.
    I’ve fostered pitties and pit mixes before and I don’t see any pitty in him. His body shape looks wrong and his head is way too small and pointy. Could be lab, could be ‘houla…

  19. Merry Christmas to the Food Lady, Tweed, Piper, Dexter M., the WooTwo, Donut, Carl and Rattie, from Ann, Maurice, Rolley, Lani and Sparkie (who is learning to play with other dogs!)

  20. I bet dear Wootie may never roll on dead fish again because they can bite back.. !!! I would have loved to have seen that. What a hoot. .

    Merry Christmas to you to Foo Lady.. !! See you in the New Years. This blog made my week a bit better than it has been, with our flood and all..

  21. Oh, I LOVE Blue! How old is he and when will he be up for adoption? :-D

  22. Oh yeah…and how is Blue with kitty cats? :-)

  23. Blue is bee-yoo-ti-ful. And Sascha, my BC/husky mix looks a LOT like him. That vee shaped growth pattern of his chest hair is a northern breed thing. Does his tail curl at all?

  24. I bet dear Wootie may never roll on dead fish again because they can bite back.. !!! I would have loved to have seen that. What a hoot. . Merry Christmas to you to Foo Lady.. !! See you in the New Years. This blog made my week a bit better than it has been, with our flood and all..

  25. This makes me grateful for my nearly hairless Aussie. Nobody knows how it happened given that he came from fluff ring lines, but man is it nice. There will be no fish stuck to him!
    Merry Christmas Food Lady!
    Maggie, Ollie, Dante, Marley

  26. I am the sometimes-proud owner of a Kelpie/Malamute and there is nothing “northern” about Blue. He is far too nice, too biddable and too quiet! As for the curly tail, there are a whole whack of CBCA border collies around here with Husky tails because their sire Keen throws curled tails.

  27. Blue is bee-yoo-ti-ful. And Sascha, my BC/husky mix looks a LOT like him. That vee shaped growth pattern of his chest hair is a northern breed thing. Does his tail curl at all?

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