Jack of no trades

Master of Sassmouth.

Don’t worry, it will all make sense eventually.

Did you get a chance to watch the National Sheepdog Finals this past weekend (as instructed!!)?  Man, what a bunch of nail-biter performances!  Patrick Shannahan and Riggs laid down a simply lovely run to win the whole shebang after a kind of “eep!  zomg, what’s going on?” gather.  If you missed it, you missed one hell of a show!

This was the first time, I believe, that the finals have ever been live-broadcast on any medium and I think there were a few thousand people watching the best sheepdogs and handlers in North America do their thang.  I was amused to see some of my FB friends who are not sheepdoggie types intrigued enough to tune in and watch, and even get excited about it. It’s hard not to get excited about watching something so innately beautiful.  If you’ve never seen a dog do a double lift before, I hope you were impressed!

I could do that. Look how herdy I am.

Yeahright.  Staring Dexter down is not “herding” West!

I’m not going to pontificate on the finer points of what makes a stockdog a stockdog, as it would bore most of you senseless and I also am not an expert on the subject, having achieved only the lowliest of accomplishments in the ‘sport’ of sheepherding, such as it were.  I am greatly interested in the subject though, and read / talk about it a lot, and believe firmly that preserving the working nature of the border collie breed is an important thing to do.  Breeding for sport or conformation, or candy colours or even just money is a sucky and demeaning thing to do.  The border collie is versatile, but it’s not a versatile breed, if you understand the distinction; it was bred to do one thing, and that thing happens to encompass a lot of qualities that make it versatile.  But as soon as you start thinking that it’s possible to leave working out of the equation and make the border collie a versatile breed of mere dog, you begin to lose the the very thing you liked about border collies in the first place.

IOW, the border collie is the master of one trade; jacked up, it’s just a dog.

Earlier this week, rumour has it that Dexter’s sister Ginny went and met some woolies and did not a bad job of working them, though she preferred to move the chickens around, those being a little less scary that the big ole mean sheep.  This information, coupled with watching the finals, fired up the old “hey I wanna do that” flame smoldering away in the back of my brain.  But I have been there, and I don’t *really* want to go down that path again.  I have a jack of all trades dog; her name is Piper.  She has competed in stockdog stuff, flyball and agility – she does okay at all of them, and excels at none of them.  That may be because she’s Piper, or it may be because I wanted it all, and focused very hard on nothing.  Who can say?

Of course, I have a dog who would undoubtedly be very good at stockdog work, were his handler so inclined.  He also happens to be the best looking border collie to walk the face of this earth.

Who dat?

I know that with the right amount of work, Dex would probably make a very lovely working sheepdog.  I know this not because he walks around like this all the time:

but rather because I know his family tree and both sides funnel down from accomplished, purpose bred, working dogs.  Had his litter been bred on purpose, his life right now might be very different.  Most assuredly, he wouldn’t be assaulted by pesty foster dogs every time he moves a muscle.


But I got Dexter so that together we could excel at a sport I do love, which is agility.  I think that if I wanted a real sheepdog, I would have to chuck out the dreams of him being a sport dog – after all, it’s not too difficult to acquire agility equipment by saving my pennies, but it’s a lot harder to buy land and sheep!  And besides, if I decided to pursue stockdog stuff with Dex, I’d have to get ANOTHER dog to do agility with, and since I already have a bit of a surplus, that seems foolish.

SOMEdogs in my collection are not very good sport dogs.

Wootie: I’m ignoring you

TWooie: Is that a rabbit?  Yummy.

TWooie is destined to hold down the dog beds for the remainder of his chubby, smiling little life.  That’s okay, he’s kind of already middle aged and it’s a lot better than being someone’s whipping boy.  I think he likes his life here, and me, I’m mad-crazy in love with the TWoo just for who he is.  I know all my friends nod and smile indulgently when I say that, as nobody seems to be able to figure out the attraction of the TWoo except me.  All I know is that when the TWoo is happy, I’m happy.

But Mr. Woo has all kinds of potential hiding in his Flamboyance™.  It drives me crazy that he cannot sustain an interest in any one thing long enough to develop a real skill at it.  I know it’s in there, but Woo marches to the beat of his own drummer – and as our instructor said about him last night: “Woo is not letting anyone else in on the Rules of WooLand.  He knows what they are, but he’s not telling.”

Mr. Woo is a Jack of No Trades!!!

We already know that he’s no sheepdog.  The only and only time he met sheep it was an accident – Before I released Woo from the truck I asked Cheryl anxiously if her fences were secure and she said, very smugly I might add, that “not even her Jack Russell could get through the fence holes.”  Well, Wootie is not one to let a pesty little thing like the laws of physics get in the way of pursuing his dreams, and the next thing we knew a thundering mass of sheep went flying by on the OTHER side of a fence, with Mr. Woo attached to one of them.  And by attached, I mean …. like, have you ever seen those suckerfish that attach themselves to the sides of sharks?  Yeah, so there’s Wootie, teeth embedded firmly in the wool of one of Cheryl’s sheep, ALL FOUR feet streaming out gracefully in the air behind him as the sheep ran by.  Oh to have had a camera handy.  *pout*

We already know that Woo is no flyball dog.  I brought him to a few flyball practices and he stood on the sidelines and watched with polite but detached interest as the dogs whipped up and down the lanes.  He didn’t even pull on his leash, just soaked up the atmosphere with a kind of Buddha-like observance.  During the break he wandered to the flyball box, gave it a sniff, looked at me and said “Really?  There are just tennis balls in it?  Are you sure that’s it?” and then wandered out of the building.

We already know that Woo is no agility dog.  While it remains one of my life’s greatest ironies that he is a “natural jumper” there is just not enough breath in my body to offer complete instructions to him while running the course.  Because Wootie pooh-poohs primitive commands like “TUNNEL!”  One must ask him, with deference, if he will please consider entering the green tunnel with the yellow sandbags located directly beneath the A-Frame and exit it in a timely manner on the opposite side, if he would be ever so kind.  He’s the only dog I own – or indeed have ever met – who can’t seem to learn a one-word directive, but understands full sentences.  His favourite sentence is “If you please do X for me, I will reward you with a cookie upon completion.”  Sometimes I wonder if he is really dog, or actually a bewitched human that some evil sorcerer turned into a dog.

Having run out of sports to fail at with Wootie, I was intrigued when one of my friends invited me to Dock Diving practice.  You know, like Splashdogs / Long Jumping?  She wondered if I had any dogs who would be interested in trying it out, and I immediately pointed at Wootie.

Although in retrospect, I should have tried it with Dexter, since today he was the only dog who would jump into the river.

We had our first practice last night!  I sadly have no photos to share because it was too dark in the pool room.  Next time we will turn on more lights and I will try to photograph or video it for you.

It’s too early to tell if Wootie will become a competitive Splashdog, but I did find one thing he is excellent at – SASSING ME AND EVERYONE AROUND ME.

He was at first reluctant to jump in the pool – it didn’t look like a lake, and it didn’t smell like one either.  He then didn’t want to jump in the pool because the instructor was in the pool, and he felt like she should get out of the pool.  There was a lot of barking right in her face “GET OUT! GET OUT! IT’S DANGEROUS IN THERE, PLUS IT’S MY POOL! DON’T TOUCH ME OR MY TOY!

What?  It was my pool!

Eventually we learned that if the instructor turned her back and pretended not to watch him, he would jump straight in … most of the time.  Sometimes he had to yell at me for a while first, or run over and yell at her, or turn in circles and yell at the ceiling.  He is such an ODD little dog.

When Race’s new mum game to pick him up, she brought us some new toys, which was super nice of her!  One of them was a Chuck-It© brand floating bumper toy:

which up until now has remained in the drawer.  I am tired of losing toys in the river (one soccer ball, one frisbee, one Kong) so I haven’t busted it out yet.  But it got him all fired up at diving class, so I guess that’s our new motivator.

Except I am already kind of bored.

I wish TWooie would swim / dive. Can’t you just picture what an adorable team they would make??  Synchro-Diving maybe?

I am hoping this is the sport for Woo!!  And as an added bonus, he was SUPER clean when we were finished :)

If you’re in the Lower Mainland and you are interested in joining us for dock driving practice, contact me for information on location, cost and our next practice.  It’s really super fun, and I would love to see the sport gain a foothold here!  And if you come to the next practice, you can meet West!

But don’t come near me, or look at me.

Because, of course, West is still with me.  Lots of sympathetic emails, nobody willing to take him on :(  In the meantime, he is experiencing a second puppyhood and eating things in my house.  Maybe Dexter has passed on his secret manual to “driving Food Lady insane” because yesterday he went into my laundry hamper and ate two pairs of my underpants!!!  DAMMIT!!!

Uh oh.  I think she’s talking to you, some other dog!


  1. Well, it’s you and me, sister when it comes to the Twoo. I just love him and that’s only through your lens and words lol.

    I tried to get the sheepdog trials yesterday but couldn’t connect. Sounds very cool.

    West is just so danged cute. What a face. If I was closer…

    PS – you got a panda bear? hahahahaha. (behind the wootwo)

  2. Evie Douglas says:

    Woo is an absolute scream. Everything he does is amusing, at least to me. As for the Twoo, well he is just plain KEE-UTE! Neither of them need to actually excel at anything.

  3. FL, your posts are always hee-lar-i-ous.

    Sorry to hear about the “no-West” e-mails. I can’t say I would take him if I were closer, since I don’t know that I would. People-reactive/aggressive is something that needs work with flat-out dedication. That and the fact I live in a populated city area with dangerous dog laws and it could be a recipe for disaster. And West would be the one getting the brunt of the bad deal. I would love to be in a position to work with him. I’ll bet he ends up being Mr. SuperAwesome dog!

    The TWoo, dunno why others don’t see his charm. I can totally see how that grin could light up your entire day. No sport needed.

    Woo is a wonderful quirky dog. Good entertainment value though.

  4. Ohh, how cool – I always hoped you would try dock diving with the Woo sometime. There’s nothing more cheering that watching dogs gleefully hurling themselves into the water. I hope you both have a great time with it!

    And I can totally see the attraction of Twooie. He has the most beautiful, slightly stunned grin, like he can’t believe his luck, and he’s just plain awwdorable.

  5. Cathy, Che and Jeepers says:

    First of all I think Tweed is probably has one of the most beautiful dog faces I have ever seen.
    One sport you don’t mention for working dogs is search and rescue, trailing and tracking. It is fun and relatively cheap to do. It is magical to be dragged across a field after an invisible scent, finding hidden articles and people.
    Nothing, of course, beats working sheep for the border collie. The dogs at the Sheepdog Finals are the creme de la creme, the olympic champions of the bc world.

  6. The Food Lady says:

    Oh sure, there are lots of sports I didn’t mention. There’s Rally-O, but as that requires a sustained level of attention, I didn’t feel it was something Woo could excel at (though if I can ever get TWoo to a happy place with other dogs, I’d like to do it with him). There’s disc, which Wootie likes, but again – not enough to be really good at it. There’s lure-coursing, which I would LOVE to do (and I know Woo would also love), but can’t find any sighthound clubs around here who will let a mixed breed play. We’ll just keep trying things until we find something he enjoys!!

  7. Woo enjoys – and excels at – being Woo!

  8. What a great post! We have been looking at trying Sage on several of these sports when she’s a bit older, so it was good to get your perspective. Working dogs definitely need something to do to burn that energy!

  9. onlyonewoof says:

    Ha…we live on a sheep farm (work at night in exchange for rent, and freedom from the city), I have a BC from decent lines that will never compete in agility again (old injury) and would likely benefit from a lower impact sport, and I worked for a herding instructor for a summer…but we do not do stockwork! She lives for agility…she’s a hard-headed little bug, but for agility she lights up and lives to work for you. Runs like a dervish despite her gimpy leg, too. Didn’t let her play for a long time, but figure you have to let them do what they love, if they can. After a year of rehab we’re back to classes again, and I’m pretty sure it’s the highlight of both our weeks :)

  10. Definitely see the panda in the 6th photo!!

  11. Im sorry I had to chuckle about your undie eater. I was just thinking to myself how surprised I am that Darwin hasn’t done it, though she is very into sniffing crotches she has no interest in dirty clothes. Even with a pile of laundry sitting on the floor by the washing machine she doesn’t even give it a second glance.
    Twooie would make an awesome synchronized diving team!

  12. Agreed 1,000% about the breeding of BCs solely for working sheep. I’m pretty sure that my younger, rescue boy is the product of one of those candy-color agility breeders. His off-button is awful, and he has definitely OCD tendencies (I would NEVER let someone get near him with a laser pointer).

    As a funny aside, we used to do a little bit of stockwork with an awesome teacher just outside of town. Can’t anymore since I hurt my ankle, but we used to take lessons with my older boy. He was fantastic at it, and certainly got on way quicker than I. Not unexpected, since I bought him as a puppy from a working breeder, and I know his lineage a decent ways back.

    My rescue boy, OTOH, came to meet the sheep during one of these lessons. He was absolutely terrified. When allowed in the round pen he would hide behind us or in a “corner” unless the sheep ran, at which point he would chase them until he realized they were the scary monsters and hide again. The shepherd had my husband fetch one of the newborn (literally, second day of life) lambs from the pasture to introduce a less-scary version to Indy. He absolutely refused to even look at the lamb, and was scared stiff of it too. What a sheepdog he is. ;)

  13. Oh MY god I’m glad I found your blog again. I missed it very much. I’ve been sort of … away for the past year but was thrilled to find you all again and get caught up. I’m a re-dedicated reader. :)

  14. I have a sass mouth at my house, too.:)

    “I want dinner! Dinner, I say, woman! Now! Dinner!”

    “The UPS guy is here. Yoohoo! The UPS guy is here!” (“I know, Shmo. Quiet!”) “The UPS guy could have a gun! He’s going to crash into the house! He’s a baby killer! What you don’t know could hurt us, lady! Don’t say I didn’t warn you!!!”

    “Yes, of course I want to pee! Hurry up, what’s your problem, wench? Open the door! Get my leash! Let’s go! Let’s go-oh! (followed by lots of farting around but no peeing, at least not in the first few minutes.)

    You get the picture. Ad nauseum. He does know the quiet command, but only complies when he thinks everything is going according to his desires.

    Actually, I think he’s kind of cute ;)

  15. Something tells me Mr Woo would enjoy tracking. :-)

  16. In thanks for posting the best action photos of dogs I have ever seen, I’ve awarded you a Doggie Bloggie Award. You can pick it up and see the rules at http://somethingwagging.wordpress.com/2010/09/29/thanks-sage-for-the-doggie-bloggie-award/.

    Thanks for publishing a great blog!

  17. …I dreamt about Woo last night. Just saying.

  18. My sister’s bc/aussie mix does the same Dexter walk/crouch.
    But other dog owners freak and think she’s stalking/ready to eat their dogs. What would work as a response to teach them otherwise? (my sister got yelled at “your dog is dangerous!”)

  19. PS I too saw the panda!

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