Archives for August 2010

The Apex Predator

There can only be one; the animal that is at the very top of the food chain, a relentless menace to all those quivering below in the competition for food.  This creature is deadly, terrifying and eats anything in its path.

WTF?  It’s not me!  I mean, it *could* be me, but it’s not me.

Don’t look at me!  It’s definitely not me.  It scares me.

You’d be forgiven for thinking it might be Piper – after all, you’ve got good reason to suspect her:

But it’s not her either.  She’s hiding from it, in fact.

And it’s not Dexter.  He learned to mask his presence from it a long time ago.

I’m not under there.  I’m not even here.  Just smile and everything will be fine.

Maybe it’s Race.


Go closer, see if he eats you, then we’ll know.

Speaking of Race, with a little bit of work, he’s finally got his ball on.

There was, of course, a bit of a learning curve …

But now he’s totally down with the game!

Up and down, that is.

He’s now the resident puppy fetch machine, because Dex is not allowed to play ball anymore.  Last week we were playing Dumbball and Dex went all wobbly on me, just like Piper does.  That was scary :(  It was not very hot outside, but he ran a lot and with a lot of intensity.  Because Intense is his middle (and first, and last) name.

So now his Dumbball activities are limited to very short sessions.  Phooey.  On the plus side, Dexter started his Big Boy Agility Classes two weeks ago and he is doing simply MARVELOUS!  The Sadist doesn’t have any beginner classes available (because the barn is fully booked) so now I bring him into Tweed’s class and I split the time between them – because Tweed is old and also fully trained, and needs way less class time.  This means Dex is running Masters level courses, but at 16″ only and no weaves, so don’t yell at me.  He is already showing me that he’s faster than my slow witted handling, and knows all the contact equipment.  In fact last night he did the teeter 4 times in a row he liked it so much :)  And unlike Piper, he is quite happy to work at a distance – which is awesome, because as he speeds up it’s going to be painfully clear to me that I do not have a hope in hell of being anywhere near him on the course!

He’s going to be a star!

Last night I also taught Race how to jump rather than limbo under the bar. This gave him some confidence and now I can’t keep him on the ground ;-)

Anyway.  Back to the mysterious Apex Predator of Food Lady’s Farm.

It’s always lurking out there, somewhere …

Waiting to STRIKE!

And steal your cookies!




No wonder he’s so rotund!!

In other news, the deskunking remedy did nothing at all for the cat-pee-in-dog-beds situation.  The beds are now soaking in Nature’s Miracle in plastic bags on the deck … we’ll see if this one works!  Otherwise, I’m going to have to make brand new beds … out of DONUT!!

Happy Random Jellyfish Day!

Random Jellyfish.

Another random jellyfish!

I have never ever seen jellyfish at East Beach before, so this was a rare occurrence!  So rare, I thought we should celebrate, and I bought a cookiecake for the occasion.

Unfortunately, for some reason, the store wrote “Yappy Barkday” on the cookiecake.

This joke is already wearing thin, and you just started it.

(Shut up, Dexter, you droll child).

But FORTUNATELY, it all worked out in the end, because not only is today Random Jellyfish Day, it’s also


Can you believe it?  I survived a whole year with The Devil Giraffe!!  He survived a whole year of underpants-eating and general naughtiness without me killing him!  He and all the Peanuts were born one year ago today!

My first glimpse of the Top Heavy Potato Puppy (2 days old)
Dexter at 2 days old

Who in no time at all (2 weeks) would be known as Orange Male.
Dexter at 2 weeks old

By 4 weeks, “Spike” was already posing for the camera, even while he was sleeping!!
Dexter at 4 weeks

And at 8 weeks old, Dexter Morgan, AKA The Puppy Formerly Known As Spike would come home with me.
Dexter at 8 weeks

And here we are, a year later, and I have the awesomest, smartest, most enthusiastic, energetic (tallest) and handsomest dog in the bunch!

Also, the flattest.

To celebrate, we hit the beach for some feasting on dead fish

I love your family; it tastes good.

Some Flying Squirrel and Mad Teeth™

Some reflection on the last year

And some general merriment.

And of course, cookiecake.

Dex got a new collar, with a Paw And Crossbones motif, cuz he’s so bad ass!

Happy Birthday to my crazy not-so-much-a-puppy-anymore dog!

What A Pisser

And no, I don’t mean the rain, which caught us unaware this morning, as I walked my beasts in my pajamas.  Hard to believe that just a few days ago I was too hot to type, and now I am wearing a sweater.  Summer in Vancouver is such a tease!

Why just yesterday we were playing Flying Squirrel in the late afternoon sun.  Well, until it landed in the overhead power wires.

That was indeed a bit of a pisser.


I knocked it down again with Wootie’s beloved Fifa.

But in racing to get it first, Wootie misjudged its trajectory and overshot his landing.

Which left an opening for The Speeding Bullet to snag it and, in an effort to evade The Persistent Devilry AKA Race,

Dexter disappeared under my sun lounge with the Squirrel, and made Mad Teeth™ at the world at large.

This game: also a pisser.

Don’t let him fool you – he’s put in his Happy Face, but as you can see, there’s an angry squint hiding behind his smiles.

Just like there is a Bastard Devil hiding behind Race’s cutepuppy face.

Today he chewed off the other strap on the mate to my favourite shoe he ate last week.  Oh well, at least they match now.  But piss on him, the evil monkey!  MEGAN would never have eaten my shoes.

That’s right!  But you abandoned me, and I live with my new sister Ally now, and neither of us are eating anyone’s shoes.  Your loss, suckah.
Ally & Meg 100818

Harumph.  I am glad she is so happy though.  I wonder if they would trade her for Race?  I have not put a lot of effort into Race in the week I have had him, but I have managed to put a fairly reliable recall on him, and also he has learned to sit or stand for pets and affection – when he rolls over on his back, I stop touching him.  When he starts biting at my arms and hands, I walk away.  He is catching on and trying very hard to just stand still and wag his tail so he gets happy rubs.  But it’s exhausting, because every interaction is a lesson, and I’m a lazy person who just wants to ruffle his ears and scritch his chest.  Bad, lazy Food Lady.

Actually, I am not that lazy, just tired and busy.  My stepdad has his own business doing home renovations, and sometimes he throws some work my way when he needs an extra pair of hands, so this week I spent some time painting the exterior of a condo building’s trim, and some ceilings, and helping him with some other stuff.  He’s a good reno dude, and the more work he gets the more work I get!  So if you need home renos done in the Lower Mainland, message me for his contact info ;-)

The problem is, years of carrying a heavy camera around, and sitting at a computer editing and typing, has given me repetitive strain issues in my wrists.  When I overdo it, they complain loudly.  And after a week of awkward painting, I was really looking forward to having a wrist-free weekend by Friday afternoon.  Alas, I forgot that I also had to work Saturday!

I was doing test-shots at the dress rehearsal for the Paws 2 Dance Gala performance coming to The Bell Center for the Performing Arts this November.  They had their dress rehearsal Saturday and I went by to figure out where I needed to be for good photos, and what gear I need to get good shots (the conclusion:  I need better gear!)mf-1-19

It looks like the performance will be a lot of fun and visually really interesting – they are performing with Kiters, which is something I have never seen before, but looks really fascinating.  You should check it out!

I scolded my now *screaming* wrists for being total pussies when I went to meet TDBCR alumni Gus for his photo shoot.  Gus is about 12 years old, and in June he suffered a fibrocartilaginous embolism (like a stroke) while out with his dogwalker, that paralyzed him.  His adopters were determined that Gus would walk again though, and after weeks of therapy, acupuncture and the best care a dog could ever have, Mr. Gus is back up and at ’em!

Look at him go!

If Gus can overcome a stroke and total paralysis, surely I can overcome a little wrist pain.  Gus agrees.

Come on soldier!  Throw my ball!  Stop whining and work through your pain!

Well he doesn’t have to be so BOSSY about it!  Yeesh!

But here’s the REAL pisser.

And I mean this literally.  Donut has started peeing on my dog beds, which makes me Very Very Unhappy.  There are now two beds, one of them very expensive, sitting out on the porch stinking up the outdoors, and waiting for me to clean them.  Can anyone recommend a cat-pee removal product that WORKS?  I’ve washed them in the regular washing machine, with all manners of cleaning agents, but she keeps peeing in the same spots so it’s obviously not working.  I need something really effective.  Please share your successful cleaning agents with me!  Alternatively, if you would like Donut to pee on dog beds in your house, send me your address and I will mail her to you.  In pieces, if you prefer, to save on shipping.