No good deed goes unpunished

Yesterday I brought home an extra 25lbs or so of border collie in an itty bitty 16″ package.  I did it in the name of rescue, not because I have a not-so-secret fondness for teeny tiny pointy border collie girlies.  I said IN THE NAME OF RESCUE!!  Stop looking at me like that!

Meet Miss Maggie The Wee, my newest foster dog.

Maggie is just 7 months old and is so tiny she makes Piper look huge!!  She is supposed to be a border collie X Aussie, but I am only seeing border collie in this cutie.  She was given up by a family who loved her very much and was just devastated to part with her, but there was trouble brewin’ between Maggie and the older pug in the household.  Two bitches sometimes don’t mix, and before it escalated, they did the smart, brave and thoughtful thing, and removed Maggie from the situation.  It’s a real shame, because they loved Maggie and they did a fantastic job putting great foundation work on her.

Here in my house, there are no problems between Maggie and the other dogs. She respects Piper mightily (as any smart dog would) and does not challenge her authority.  She is doing very well with all the other dogs.

Well, *almost* all the other dogs…

TWooie could simply not believe I’d brought home a strange dog.

And he is not shy about making his feelings known. What a curmudgeon.

Get off my lawn!

If Face Box Lady wasn’t watching us, I would so be kicking your ass right now.  She is watching right?  Yep, she’s watching.  Dammit.

This is a little out of focus, but pretty much sums up TWooie’s feelings about Maggie:

He has never made contact – lots of air snapping and ugly faces, but he’s just trying to scare her away.  (If it worked, and if he could, he’d probably send Dexter with her).

As you can see by this startling photographic evidence, the experience of TWooie has really scarred and traumatized poor Maggie.

I hate you for bringing her into my life.  Karma will get you.  I hope your car blows up.

Ha ha ha!  That’s funny, cuz it’s true.

Shut UP, Wootie!  It’s NOT funny because it IS true :(

On the way home from picking up L’il Miss Maggins, my car did indeed blow up – emotionally anyway.  It didn’t catch on fire or anything, but it started going “thunkity thunkity thunkity” and we lost most of the gas pressure, and verged on stalling until I coaxed the POS Pontiac into a Canadian Tire parking lot, where they were most unhelpful.  Apparently, while they are vehicle mechanics at Canadian Tire, they are not the kind of mechanics that work on vehicle engines.

I’ll spare you the whole sad story, of the towing to the garage that is closed on weekends and the nice tow truck driver who took pity on me and Mags and dropped us off at home after dropping off the car at the closed mechanics, but only because if I type it out, I may weep.  I never much cared for that POS minivan, but it gets me and 5-6 dogs from A-B. Make that it GOT me from A-B.  Now it’s just sitting there, dead as a doornail, with an ominous & expensive sounding initial diagnosis of “busted cylinder.”  It has 6 of them, I don’t see why the other 5 couldn’t compensate for the busted one.  Harumph.  The f*cker isn’t even paid off yet :(

The only bright spot in this whole sordid tale is that I fortuitously left all my other dogs at home when I went to pick up Maggie.  This is unusual, as in cool weather I tend to bring them everywhere with me.  I am guessing that the tow truck guy would not have been so accommodating had there been SIX dogs to get home.

The other bright spot is that it didn’t die until after the photo shoots I had this past week.  And they were all tons of fun, so I am super glad about that!

Yesterday I got to photograph Molly, Fletcher and Chico at East Beach

They are all rescued agility dogs, and they are more fun than a barrel of monkeys!

I also got to spend some time at MacDonald Beach with Nutmeg and Spratley, the dastardly duo.

They made me laugh a lot!  And it’s nice to see Mad Teeth™ on dogs other than my own ;-)

And then there was a session in East Van with Mingus, the 14 year old French Bulldog.

He didn’t have any fun at all.

Just kidding!  Mingus is *adorable* and now I want a Frenchie.  You gotta love a dog with a head like a bowling ball.

I do so love taking photos of other people’s dogs – it is always so very much fun, and such a pick-me-up!  I just wish I did more of it, because it would be an awesome way to make my living full time.

To that end – or more correctly, to the end of trying to scrape together the money to pay my car repair bill (which judging from the sour looking face of no less than 3 mechanically inclined individuals who listened to the Thunkity-thunkity noises, is going to be princely) I’m going to offer a bit of a promotion to entice those of you who have been toying with the idea of photos but have not gotten around to booking – for the month of July, if you book a shoot with me and refer a friend who also books, you’ll get 10% off the cost of your session.  Refer 5 friends who book and you’ll get 50% off the cost of your session!  Refer 10 and your session is free!  Etc. I know I sound like a cheezy car salesman (sorry Joe*) but I really need my car back … I live in the middle of nowhere, people – there is not even transit around here.  I can’t even walk to the store to get a container of milk, should I need some.  You see my problem, yes?  So please, if you’ve been procrastinating, book now!  I hear summer arrives next week!

*I apologize to Joe, who *IS* a car salesman, because he kindly lent me his car for the weekend so I could run some errands and the like.  I am momentarily driving this Ford Escape, which has a possessed radio station that keeps switching itself back to a country music station.

That’s just cruel.

Told you.  Karma’s a bitch.

And _you_ are super lucky Food Lady is still watching.

Fortunately, being a complete jerk doesn’t necessarily run in the WooTWoo genetics, because Mr. Woo is much more welcoming.  In fact, he is very fond of Waggie Maggie.

They’ve been having a great time wrestling and playing.


Until the Fun Police came along and put an end to their shenanigans.

As for Dexter, Maggie has awakened his Inner Testicles.  I had to break up a live sex show in my living room last night.  There’s another reason I need my car back – Miss Maggie needs to go get spayed before Dexter impregnates her with GIANT MUTANT GIRAFFE PUPPY babies!

(never fear, Maggie is *not* in season and I won’t let anything like that happen, ever.  She does need to be spayed though).

Oh great, another pointy, fast, black and white dog to further decrease my chances of ever getting the Wootie Toy™ first.  Phooey.

It’s tough being Tweed.  Nobody tell him we may not have a car to get to class this week either!


  1. Maggie is a cutie pie! Watch out though….Isn’t heat usually 6-10 months?

    Poor TWooie…how horrifying for the little chap! Another puppy…at least she’s a bitch! I’m guessing if she was a dog then he would have more to say on the subject….

  2. Please note, as evidenced by your photograph, that there are no dents on said Ford Escape.


  3. The Food Lady says:

    Oh sure – I notice you don’t say ANYTHING about how it’s chock full of hair though!!

    Also, if there are pawprints on the roof again, it was a sasquatch, not Dexter. I swear.

  4. susan womersley says:

    Maggie is adorable – I love the white ring around her nose! I would so have you photograph everything I owned if I was closer than 5000 mile away. Your photographs are amazingly fantastic.

  5. OMG, I just spilled a mouthful of chewed pizza on my laptop (err, correction, my bosses laptop) because of your “giant mutant giraffe puppy babies”.
    Maggie looks adorable!
    So sad about the death of your car. :( I would definitely book you, if you were willing to travel to Europe to take picturs of my lovely Border Collies? ;)
    I hope those mechanics were quite wrong and the repair will be cheap. After all, what would these tire guys know about engines, right?

  6. riosmom says:

    Sorry about the car and hope the repair is not expensive. I would book with you in an instant if I lived anywhere near you, like within 200 miles, but I am in California.

    Twooie really is a butthead, isn’t he? And, Woo clearly hasn’t heard about gravity as he so often defies it as when he is sideways in the air playing with Maggie. No pictures of Dexter and Maggie playing – at something besides sex?

    Nutmeg and Spratley look like they are yodeling – I love the sepia-like (muted black & white?) photos and wish you did more of them.

    Good luck with the car and the bookings. Will you do portraits as well as action shots?

  7. Very sorry to hear about your van’s “illness.” Like the others, I would book you in a New York minute if I didn’t live in Nevada. I would love nothing more than to have a photo shoot for my four kids.

    One of my border collies is a little bitty rescue. I got him at seven months and kept waiting for a late growth spurt but it never happened. But, his smallness is what makes him so adorable to everyone who meets him.

  8. Nutmeg and Spratley remind me of Woo and TWooie. I’m sending Good Vibes to your car. There is nothing worse than waiting for the quote.

  9. “Foster”. I don’t believe a word of it.

  10. Food Lady, I’m confused — can you clear something up for me, please?

    I always thought that Woo and Twoo were bigger than Piper, and in a lot of shots they do look bigger. But then sometimes Wootie looks so very SMALL, and in one of the shots of him standing next to Maggie, he looks smaller than her! And she’s smaller than Piper, which would make Woo tiiiiiny!

    Can you list them in order of size, please? I know this is totally random, but it’s freaking my brain out. My version goes Tweed > Twoo >~ Woo > Dexter > Piper but I may have to mentally revise my images of them.

  11. That totally sucks about your van. If I had any vacay time coming, I’d be cruising up to BC to have Gizmo immortalized in one of your photo shoots. I hope it’s not as bad as the “estimators” have suggested. I’ll keep my fingers crossed!

  12. Noel/ Hoyden says:

    Sorry to hear about your van. I’m thankful my husband went to mechanic school and can fix anything NON electrical in my Blazer. It it’s electrical, I’m sure you’d here the profanity floating on the wind……

    I LOVE Mingus. But I am one of those “Bully” people who love bully breeds. I want another dog & think a Frenchie would be perfect. My husband disagrees. I say if it weighs under 20 lbs. fully grown, it doesn’t count towards the two dog limit.

  13. The Food Lady says:

    “Food Lady, I’m confused — can you clear something up for me, please?”

    HAHA! Of course!!

    Dexter – 22″ at the shoulder, 40 lbs, 10 months old
    Tweed – 20.5″ at the shoulder, 38 lbs, 10 years old
    Piper – just under 18 ” at the shoulder, 29lbs, 7 years old
    Woo – 16 3/4″ at the shoulder, 30+ lbs, 4 years old
    TWoo – 16.5″ at the shoulder, 35lbs, 4 years old (he’s no longer over 40lbs!!)

    Piper is built light, narrow chest, light bones – Wootie is big chested, bigger shoulders, and never as light as I would like him. TWooie is even bigger chested, real powerful front end, big head and still a little too heavy, but way lighter than he was when I got him!!

  14. Crystal says:

    If I end up in the area for a flyball tournament this month, I will totally book you to take some pics of my dogs while I’m in the area. 6+ hours is a little far to travel just for a photo session though.

    Sorry about the van, hopefully its not as bad as it sounds right now.

  15. Oxo in Harlem says:

    food lady,
    i’m sorry about your car and i’ve donated 20 dollars (canadian!) as a thank you for all the chuckles you’ve given me since i stumbled across your blog several months ago. i’m in NYC and have a pit bull mix (a rescue, amazingly enough ;-) so a photo shoot is out of the question for a whole pile of reasons of a geographic and financial nature.
    thanks for the great work you do with BCs, the fab photos, and the big laughs i get reading about your antics.
    your american friend
    oxo in harlem

  16. suzanne says:

    Would Twooie, with his “really powerful front end” be a good candidate for agility… does his front end help him to be fast?
    From all your photos, Dexter looks like a prime candidate for flyball… put him on a team where the height dog is a JRT and watch him go! He’d be down that lane in 4 strides!

  17. Ruth Hansell says:

    TWoo is feeling displaced, that’s all. For a while, he’s been the prodigal brother/new kid on the block and learned to enjoy it! Now, in comes this cutsie, pointy, pixie-ish girl dog who everyone is oooing and aaawwww-ing over. Of course he wants her to go away.

    Great pix and even greater text! Like the others, we’d be having Food Lady Photography, Inc, doing portraits if we lived in the neighborhood. But, DH and I did just purchase and receive our MadTeeth t-shirts – and we’ll wear them out and about to see if we might drum up some more business. DH got a red one and I got a gray one.

    Hope the repair is quick and relatively painless. Good luck with everything.

  18. I would love to have you photograph my brace of elderly weiner (this is the polite version) witches, and I live in North Van!

  19. The Food Lady says:

    “Would Twooie, with his “really powerful front end” be a good candidate for agility… does his front end help him to be fast?”

    Probably not – much like Woo, TWooie has no drive to play sports. Also, a good jumper powers off his hind end, and a “front heavy” dog would be slightly more at risk because landing happens in the front half. TWoo doesn’t appreciate agility at all ;-)

    “From all your photos, Dexter looks like a prime candidate for flyball”

    Maybe so! However, we do not play flyball. I have played with both Tweed and Piper, who have titles in the sport, but I don’t really enjoy the game at all. We prefer agility ;-)

  20. No way! There can’t be any aussie in Maggie because she looks just like Sheila and Kim, and they’re collies. She is super-cute though! Good luck with the car fixin’!

  21. Will go to put in my monthly donation to say thanks for the entertainment!
    Totally forgot about 365 puppy, since the links are not on the page here now! Just started going thru the days I missed, the trampoline video is pretty funny!
    Thanks again for sharing your pics and your stories!

  22. Oh, my good lord — Woo is a midget!!! I had no idea! He doesn’t even come up to my KNEE! I always pictured him as at least 24″ at the shoulder and 50 lbs! Maybe he really IS a papillon mix! :) I used to picture this gigantic Woo leaping around at the beach — I always wondered how on earth he could jump 7 feet straight up in the air, but since he’s smaller than I thought it’s probably more like 4 feet (still an awe-inspiring amount of elevation — if you want to train him in classical ballet he could probably make principal at a major company!) :).

    You just rocked my world, Food Lady. I need a minute to recover.

    (And since you mention it, I have noticed that TWoo is looking a whole lot less meatballish since his tenure with you began! Way to go!)

  23. The Food Lady says:

    “Oh, my good lord — Woo is a midget!!! I had no idea! He doesn’t even come up to my KNEE! I always pictured him as at least 24″ at the shoulder and 50 lbs! ”

    LOL!! Not even close, he’s quite small, with really dainty feet and a small, pointy head. I can pick him up and tuck him under my arm … and often do! Ideally he would be a little lighter than Piper, but I just can’t get that extra couple of pounds off him. He’s built more like an Aussie than a BC, that’s for sure.

    When jumping for a frisbee, he often gets as high as my eye level, and I am 5’5″ so he has “quite a lot of lift for a sausage” as my friend Jacquie likes to say ;-)

  24. So, I may have missed this previously, but has Dex not gotten the old snip-snip treatment yet to help him grow better for his future athletic career? I know theories on when to get them done has been changing a lot lately.

  25. The Food Lady says:

    No, Dexter is still intact because both his testicles were retained and I don’t currently have the $600.00 or so it’s going to cost to dig them out. Regrettably, my money troubles as of late have put this surgery on hold :(

  26. Good Lord! The things I learn on this blog. I never knew so much about nutz. LOL.

  27. Wow! Fear the TWoo!
    Great shots of him in action, FL – I knew you said he was fierce, but damn – he really is quite fierce, isn’t he? :-D.

  28. WOW! Add me to the list of people impressed at how small Woo is. Dex is the same height as my Kota (who is 14 months) but a lot heavier. Think Kota’s about 35lbs, there’s nothing to him!

  29. The Food Lady says:

    Dex is skinny as a rail, and he may not be at 40lbs yet, I am just guessing based on how much he has grown since I last weighed him. He’s going to be a big powerful dog I think though!

  30. Maggie is gorgeous, I LOVE her, LOL. But then pointy, pixey BC girls are what I like best, LOL. Boy that just sounds like a nightmare with the car, hope it all gets taken care of soon ;-(—Kathy and the BCgirls Liz/Breeze/Cricket

  31. clairesmum says:

    If it’s got tires or testicles, it’s gonna give you trouble!!!

  32. Sounds like it’s time for another art auction to raise some money to help fix the car and (ugh) dig out the testes! Poor Pup!

  33. nickelsmum says:

    Whaddaya mean “we” don’t like flyball? You know perfectly well *they* like it just fine! You can’t palm off your girly prejudices on your perfectly reasonable doggies! So there.

  34. The Food Lady says:

    Actually I said *I* don’t like flyball – I saw *we* prefer agility. And this is true. Piper dislikes flyball a lot, and will not play, and Tweed runs slowly because he doesn’t see the point in running fast if you get the ball either way. However, both of them really enjoy agility so yes, I would say *we* prefer agility, since we all have fun when we play it, whereas none of us have fun when we play flyball.

  35. nickelsmum says:

    OK, all right, but I’m sure DEX will see reason.

  36. The Food Lady says:

    Dex will never know what Flyball is, I’m afraid. I don’t have the time or money to play another sport, especially one I hate!

  37. Send me Maggie and I will take up Fly Ball :) And more Dumb Ball. And have a hiking/bike/walk partner. Oh wait, must kill husband first. (The one who pays the vet/grooming bills around here, but yeah have slipped a few dogs in no worries ;)

    If you have an art auction let me know, I am famous for my Poppies!

  38. Ha ha, love the arrival of the Fun Police. “Who us? We was jus’ standing here doin’ nothin’, nothin’ at all. Ain’t that right Mr. Woo?”

    $20 seems like a good idea. Let’s see if I can remember my PayPal password…oh good, got it on the third try.

  39. Oh how I would love to have you photograph my dogs. Alas, you live thousands and thousands of miles away.

  40. Evie Douglas says:

    OMG! I had no idea Woo & Twoo were so small. I always pictured them Aussie size. Well, the size of my Aussies, who are 20.5 & 21″.

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