Oh Baby, Baby, Baby

There was one bright spot this week in what is otherwise the Fancraptastic Crappola Fest that is my life currently.

(and I mean that literally.  It seems someone, though I won’t mention any names,

Why are you glaring at me?

and his puffy sidekick

have developed a taste for the delicacy most people in this world underrate simply as “coyote poop.”

Blech.  And here’s the thing about coyote poop – it retreats from one’s digestive system at a fairly rapid rate of speed, via one exit or another, in pretty much the exact format in which it entered in the first place.  That means that someone is either vomiting poo or pooping poo in my house on a somewhat regular basis.


Yesterday the merciless rain of 2010 took a mini-vacay for the afternoon and the sun even made some credible attempts to come out for a few precious hours.  This was super, because I had a photo shoot with a polar bear, and it wouldn’t have been much fun in a torrential downpour.

Meet Baby, the Maremma (not really a polar bear)

Baby is a rescue dog who was fostered in Canada but now lives in the US with his very patient person.  His mum brought him all the way back to Canada to get some nice photos of him.  We’d scheduled for June thinking we’d be guaranteed nice weather.  HA HA HA.

But luck was on our side and we did manage to spend a lovely morning together trying to get Baby to look in the general direction of the camera … with minimal success.

Baby’s story gives me hope though, because Baby had one helluva shitty life before he was rescued, and today he still has his many challenges, but his mum loves him, and works hard with him.  It’s nice to know that there are still people out there who honour their commitments to the four legged buffoons they bring into their families and stick with them no matter what.

So for that reason, among others (I got a rare and coveted smoocherooni from the recalcitrant Baby!) I was very pleased to be able to photograph him!

What?  I wasn’t eating anything.

And since “poo” seems to be today’s blog theme, let me take a moment to congratulate one of my very favourite Poos, Abies, who was the 2009 #1 CKC Agility Miniature POOdle in Canada, and #4 over all breeds.  Good job Abies!!  Nothing shitty about that!

I have had the honour of photographing the #1 Poo and his pals as well, and one of those photos will be printed in the August issue of the CKC magazine.

Tweed would like to thank you all for your well wishes, and for commiserating with his extra pissy Food Lady, who is in a perpetual bad mood.

I had a foot operation.  Can someone get the Food Lady a mood operation?

Mr. Gimpola remains pleasantly static.  The limp never changes – run him hard, he limps.  Walk him on leash, he limps. Rest him, he limps.  Limplimplimplimplimp.  It doesn’t seem to bother him in the slightest though.

Die tug toy!  Die!  Die!!

I like to pretend this is one of Dexter’s limbs, which I have torn him his irritating body.

I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.

Part of me thinks I should just leave him entered in Regionals anyway, because if he’s going to just limp for the rest of his life, and exercise doesn’t make it worse, may as well run him.  OTOH, since we aren’t completely sure what is wrong with him, it might not be a good idea to run him in competition.  My plan is to run him hard in class on Thursday evening.  If he seems reluctant to play at capacity, or it makes his limp worse, then I will for sure pull his entry.  If it seems like an hour of agility class doesn’t affect him, I will get a second opinion from the vet on Friday, and with his permission, will let him run at Regionals.  It’s the only thing I can think of to do.

There’s not been a lot of Wootie shots lately, cuz he’s always off hunting.  Since we moved out here to the sticks and he’s discovered the Joy Of Eating Things, he has lost all interest in playing with me.  Soccer balls, Wootie Toys™ and even sticks have lost all their allure.  I think he’s reverting to a feral state.

Don’t even bother waggling that cookie at me.  I just don’t care.  I want to go hunting.

Yay for hunting and eating p- I mean, rabbits.  Yeah, rabbits.


  1. Will the judges at Regionals actually let a limping dog compete? Here in the USA, I am pretty sure you would get whistled off the field immediately…Just curious….

  2. wyldvetwyo says:

    I love the dogs + wildflower shots. Summer is coming. Sending positive thoughts for you and Tweed. So sorry to hear the treatment didn’t work as planned.

  3. The Food Lady says:

    “Will the judges at Regionals actually let a limping dog compete? ”

    Well it depends – he doesn’t appear to be limping when he is running, it’s only when he moves at a trot or a walk that you can see it. And that never happens on an agility course. Also, since I would okay it with my vet before entering him, I’d have a letter from my vet specifying that he has permission to run.

    So yeah, it really depends. I know a dog with a chronic, lifetime limp (from an injury as a puppy) who has been competing for like 10 years and it’s never been an issue. But it really depends on what my vet says. I’m not going to run him if my vet says it’s not safe to do so.

  4. Jennifer says:

    Hurrah….. happy dog faces …….. or, should that be, “happy dog faeces…?!”

    Great to see Tweed smiling again. My heartstrings have been severely tugged every time I’ve logged in recently. Good luck with your vet on Friday.

    In the UK , the poo of collie choice would appear to be fox. It is particularly pungent and our girl just loves to roll in it. A little “shoulder shimmy” and she’s plastered in the dog awful stuff. Normally happens miles from running water and/or rubber gloves. Gotta love them.

    PS Missing Piper!

  5. Ha ha! That sound worse than sheep poo (a delicasy for our dogs!)

  6. Dear FL,
    When in a crappy mood try wearing what I refer to as the “Pissy Piper” shirt. Got mine and wear it. It works wonders and has the added benefit of giving those in the know a heads up.
    Husband wants one for Fathers Day. Maybe if he ever gets ehh -ehhh, can’t be that hard… the dogs all know what it means.

  7. The Polar Bear and I are in awe of not only your photography but your weather negotiation abilities as well! Thanks so much for photographing my boy and running interference when he was attempting to try to disembowel the Bernese Mountain dogs! We are most honored to appear in our favorite blog. I told the Polar Bear he’s famous now but he just gave me the paw and asked me when his newest (fifth!) bed is going to arrive to add to the collection :) God forbid my supposedly outdoor, farm working, livestock guardian dog has to walk to a different room in the house to lay down in luxury!

    We’re thinking about you and Tweed and hoping for the best. And we’re crossing our paws that Dexter makes it through the next months of puppy adolescence alive! I have a cat he can eat in the meantime…

  8. We’re having major rabbit & pheasant overrun issues down here… can we please borrow the WooTwo?

    Seriously, maybe you should hire them out as vermin control. Better than poison- No dead critters to rot in your walls (because we eat them all)! Think about it: You’ll make money AND save on dog food.

    I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but Hoot has reverted to his mostly well-behaved self. He (and Nick- they shared) both ate something rotten at the beach yesterday & have the poops, but he’s back to being a Good Dog. (Please don’t hurt me… or send me Dexter. One puppy per decade is enough!)

  9. Ha! I’ll join your (it’s the) POO party!
    This rain seriously dents my cycling efforts – I go, but can’t stay out as long because the feet get cold even with the neoprene shoe covers. I HAVE to ride 5 days a week because I strained inner thigh muscles at work, which led to inflammation in the hip joint (and a major LIMP – hi, Tweed! I’ve been limping right along with you the whole time since March 1) and a prescription/sentence of riding 5 days a week rain or more rain or even more rain(shine? what’s that?) Now, I love cycling, but this constant rain puts a *damper* on things. PhOOey! And with the injury, I haven’t been able to do my normal work (I’m an RN in a hospital- you know, on my feet ALL THE TIME for 12-13 hours a shift.) – hi, Tweed! I haven’t been able to do the job I love either! PhOOey!
    Secondly, Nikki loves cat POO. A delicacy! She will find any cat POO within reach on our walks, and totally wander off into cat POOland on our off leash walks. Cat POO = deafness. At least until it’s in her tummy. She does seem to have an iron gut though, so we’ve never seen her vomit. And no diarrhea either, just soft POO. Thank doG there are few coyotes here. I’m sure she’d love their POO, too!
    Here’s to things changing ASAP. Like doG says OOPs, I got all this backward, no more limp for Tweed (and Carol), no more winter rain in summer, POO comes out the rear end only, etc!

  10. CarolG. says:

    Bunny poo is also most delicious according to Arwin The Poo-mouthed.

  11. Best of luck with Tweed in the vet. :) Lots of hugs and kisses for him, they seem to be making something. :)
    Sorry to hear about Dexter going into a more difficult phase. :( About Twoo, I must say he looks happier each photo you take of him, maybe he is going through the same phase as Dexter, but in reverse and might abandone that “habbit” for something healthier. ;)

  12. On the plus side, Woo is looking, well…skinny. Maybe it’s just water weighing down his coat, but he’s got a nice tuck-up going there. What I’d *really* like to know, though, is how he gets the rest of him all dirty and yet the Flamboyance appears to be so *clean*.

  13. melissa says:

    I can almost hear Dexter now:
    “Well, you didn’t want me eating your panties so I switched to poo! Can’t a guy have any fun?”
    My dog relishes ALL types of poo, but takes particular pleasure in goose poo and cat poo. The latter has dire intestinal consequences.

  14. Hey Gimpy-limpy Tweed. Here’s to Regionals! Maybe the limp will go away eventually? Glad to hear he doesn’t seem to be bothered by it.

    Sorry about the poo. Zoey loves stinky stuff. A couple years ago she smeared herself from nose to shoulder with awful green goo. I washed her, with soap, twice and the smell still lasted for a week. Blech. ;-)

  15. My dogs second and third the suggestions for bunny poo! Luckily for them they have their own “mini-bar” available 24 hours a day in the bedroom. Bunnies generally aren’t so happy about the dogs sticking their noses in whilst they’re “otherwise engaged”, but there you go!

    The things you put up with for a cute face.

    I’m also very glad to see the happy-dog faces and hope there’s a happy FL face coming out there somewhere soon.

  16. I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

  17. I think that’s an excellent idea for Tweedy. If he’s not actually hurting and can still PLAY, then by all means, let the boy boogie at regionals!

  18. Since moving to the farm my dogs have become poo gourmets – sheep, rabbit, coyote, llama, chicken, and of course horse apples! People keep telling me they must get something they are missing in their diet from it, but lets face it – they just like poo!

  19. Here’s hoping for you and Tweed going to Regionals! I’m crossing fingers and toes and so are the basenjis, who wouldn’t know what to do with a Regional if one fell on them.

  20. With the vet’s approval I would go for it. You two have worked so hard.

  21. nickelsmum says:

    Woo looks thin. That is all.

  22. Count my Cookie in as a rabbit poo fan. In fact it’s like caviar to her.
    No wait, it’s like crack. You should see her when she knows it’s out there in the back yard.

    no dog kisses here. evah.

  23. I LOVE that first photo of Baby!

    Keeping fingers and paws crossed that you’ll (finally!) get some good news about Tweed. Hoping you get the ok from the vet to run him at Regionals. If limping doesn’t seem to bother him, there’s definitely something to be said for letting him have fun.

  24. skeeter says:

    From here on out I will no longer be reading your blog before dinner. Thanks Food Lady and all your poop experienced readers. Oh, and remind me again why we put up with such disgusting creatures?

  25. I was also going to say that Woo is looking trim.

    What you need is horse poop. It also comes out the same way it went in, but its very dry and mostly like compacted hay. Very easy to clean up.

  26. riosmom says:

    Wishing for you and Tweed. Please let us know how class went and what the vet says. Great pictures as always, loved the ones of Twoie and it was good to see happy pictures of Tweed.

  27. Deer poo is the gourmet treat where I live, in Iowa, in the woods.

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