I’m a prisoner in my own home!

Listen, you gotta get me out of here.
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I’ve been in here for weeks.  It’s SO boring.
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I thought I made a deal with the guard – we even shook on it!
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But I’m still in here.  I think it’s been longer than weeks – it feels like years.  And I don’t even know what I did wrong.
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Poor, poor Tweed.  It’s hard to be a gimpy old man dog who’s been convicted of a non-crime that he never committed.  But the end is in sight!!  Tomorrow is Commence Leash Walks Week – the home stretch! – and I know he will be oh so happy!  But I can’t even give him the good news, because when I say “Tweed, you can start on leash walks tomorrow” all he hears is “blahblahgarbagecrapWALKblah” and I get this face:

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which breaks my heart.

Have you ever had to crate a dog long term?  I have to say, it’s not been quite as terrible as I envisioned.  The moaning and whining stopped in a day or two, and my good dog resigned himself to his circumstances.  He heads right into the crate after potty breaks, and doesn’t even stop for me to take the leash off.  But I can only imagine that he thinks I’m punishing him for something, and that it’s the world’s longest correction.

There’s an upside to this though – it gave me the fortitude to leave the TWoo at home in a crate of his own and take my significantly diminished pack of three dogs to Derby Reach for some swimming without having to wrangle Sir Dog Aggro.  I didn’t bring the camera on that adventure, but ultimately TWooie was just fine and I think we’ll be doing it again quite often.

You left me home alone.  Just for that, I’m going to start bugging your cat.
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TWoo is a never ending treasure trove of new and interesting behaviours.  The latest one is his brand new interest in the previously terminally boring cats.  He follows them all over the place, corners them, and stares at them.

I think it started when I was soaking Donut’s infected feetsies.  A couple of her toes got a bit pus-encrusted where the nails were ripped out, and since she’s already on an antibiotic, the only thing I can do is try to epsom-salt the wounds clean.

Donut is a cat.  Cats don’t appreciate it when you stick their feet in an old yogurt container filled with warm water.  They have lots to say on the subject, some of it loudly and full of pissed-off wails.  The wailing is what seemed to spark TWooie’s attention – my guess is that the rabbit-eating episode awakened his sleeping hunter and he thinks the cat is in distress, and therefore, potentially edible.

I wish I could say Donut learned something from this whole experience, but her nose glued to the window crack suggests she’s just as stupid as she was before she got out the first time.
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The Hannibal Lecter of Aussie crosses best not eat the other small thing I’m bringing home this weekend.

And how do we begin to covet, Food Lady?  Do we seek out things to covet?
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*shudder*

Superpuppyadorableness is coming to stay with me for the long weekend while her foster mum goes out of town.

You remember Jess, don’t you?  The Horse Auction Bucket Baby?  She’s coming to Case De Food Lady for a couple of days.
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Because of course, I need to have 6 dogs here.  5 was just not enough.

Wootie: Another dog?  I hope she’s not going to start giving some of us away.

TWooie:  Another dog?  That makes me angry.  You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.
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I’m thinking about giving away a dog to two, tell you whut.  I was late for work yesterday morning because a certain WooTWoo crossed the river using an old beaver dam and left me stranded and screaming on the other side, demanding they come home RIGHT NOW, which the WooTWoo totally ignored.  Of course.

Maybe they should be in jail instead of Tweed.

We tire of your complaints.  Run and fetch us a rabbit.
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Is someone else going to jail instead of me??
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Until next time, dear readers … dream of puppy-cat-bunny stew.

Twooie is.
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Comments

  1. Love Tweed’s expression on the fifth picture. Glad to know he’s recovering well. =)

  2. Yippee, puppy pics coming!
    Loved the WooTwoo lying down picture!

  3. I always dread the ending of your posts! I can tell when I’m coming to the end and it makes me sad :(

    Tweed is such a good boy! It must be so confusing for the poor guy…..

    Love the WooTwoo pics as always!

  4. Claudia says:

    Oh my! Tweed’s face just about broke my heart into pieces there! I hate times like these because the most frustrating thing (to me at least) is not the whining or the moaning or the barking or the protests, but the inability to communicate to them in dog language that this is NOT punishment, that it is unfortunate but all necessary, that it’s for their own future good and that all these too will soon pass – like countdown 24hours! – and soon, very soon, they will be able to stand on their FULL 4 legs and run and be pain free again!

    We are all rooting for you and looking forward to that, Tweedy boy! So cheer up! It will be sooner than later!

  5. I had to crate my pup after she was fixed. I was worried she’d be in pain or something, but she didn’t care at all, which ended up being a bigger problem. For 10 long days my poor pup had to be sedated, in a crate, with an e-collar. She didn’t make a peep, but she did lay there and stare at me with her huge brown sad puppy-dog eyes. It was horrible! I totally feel your pain.

  6. WooTWoo, so naughty yet so entertaining! Love the pics of them together. I sure hope that super cute pup survives the weekend with no teeth marks! Six dogs, I can’t even imagine it!

  7. Tweed’s face IS heartbreaking. That’s his Aussie side; they make the best pitiful faces. I, of course, want to hug and kiss him. He, of course, does not like stranger attention, as I recall. So I won’t. Really. Otherwise I’d fly up from Oregon just to cheer him up.

  8. I don’t really have anything in particular to say, I just felt like commenting that I really love your blog. I get so excited when I see a new post in my blog roll! The photos are amazing, and I love the symmetry of Woo and Twoo. :) Thanks for keeping me entertained while I try to study for finals . . . . . (I think I feel kind of like Tweed right now!)

  9. Evie Douglas says:

    Oh Tweed, honey, you look so unbearably sad. I can’t stand it!
    My Tweed double, Rosie, had to be crated forevvvver after back surgery. Its not a fun thing to do to your babies.

  10. I’ve had to crate my dogs for lengthy times a couple times in the last 7 years for various medical reasons. They all managed to make me feel guilty about it by behaving so well and being all pathetic about going back to prison after a boring on leash potty break. We use the time to learn tricks that don’t require a lot of movement (depending on the injury) like the shell game, playing with Nina Ottoson toys, etc. Still, they just want to RUN sometimes.

  11. Poor, poor Tweed :( But bet will be a happy guy tomorrow though!

    OMG that pup is gorgeous!

  12. riosmom says:

    When Tweed retires from agility he can take up acting – he has such a soulful face. And the poor guy has a reason for it right now. Do get happy pictures of him on his first leash walk – which I hope he accepts as well as he has accepted the crate. How long does he have to be on leash walks?

    The pictures of the WooTwoo are great. And the puppy is to die for. Hope you get pictures of her with that other “puppy” – Dexter.

  13. dearheart says:

    Oh, poor, poor, sad Tweed. :-) And. O. M. G., how cute is Jess?!?!?

  14. Awwwww, Tweed baby! Totally sucky to be stuck on crate rest.

    Glad you left the TWoo home. I’ll bet the others had a blast. I might be partial, but Wootie does have a certain elegance that the TWoo lacks.

    And of course OHMYGOSHLOOKITTHEFACEONTHATPUPPPY! Sorry. I am getting a bit daft since I seem to have signed myself up for a puppy from an upcoming litter. Of Aussies. And I will have a puppy. Which I swore I would never get a puppy. “The best laid plans…” Of course Tony thinks I’m crazy for wanting a third dog. I should have him meet your crew!

  15. RachelB says:

    Tweed looks so hopeful to hear the word “walk.”

  16. Awww Tweedums. That is a world class sadface. So sad we can’t explain to them what’s happening, isn’t it?

  17. Tweed’s hopeful walk face is just priceless …as are the shots of the two-headed beast WooTwoo. I love this blog – it makes me happy! As do those two adorable pink spots on Jess’s nose. Too, too cute!

  18. I had to crate a cat for 4 weeks after surgery at the LSU Vet school – he had his hip pulled out of socket by a raccoon and could not be popped back in, and screws/plate in torn hock. He was there for 2 weeks – came out with kitty cold – then crated for four weeks. He had a huge cast on his back leg – snotty nose – not crazy about the litter box arrangement….and his little sister visiting and making “I’m free!” noises…..He used to be a terror – now he is just a pussycat…..but fun times!

  19. I seriously have a soft spot for Tweed. He melts my heart. His facial expressions are just too much. Im happy to hear that his recovery is coming along though. The light at the end of the tunnel …
    WooTwoo is just plain awesome! Their stories crack me up.

  20. I hope Tweed is enjoying his leashed walk today! I’m sure we are all waiting to hear about it.

  21. Carolyn says:

    Last year I had a dog have knee surgery and she was crated, other than walks, for almost 8 weeks. Then last month another knee surgery and another 6 weeks of all but walks. She barely complained – I felt worse about it than she did.

  22. One of my favorite posts. EVER!

  23. Thank doG you guys are far away, because Jess is so cute I’m tempted to go through the horrors of raising a puppy all over again (NO, the other one just outgrew the terrible teens!)

    So glad Tweed is getting out again now, because I don’t think I could stand that look for long.

    The WooTwoo is awesome, even when they’re bad (maybe especially when they’re bad).

  24. MalaysianFan says:

    Whoa, there, Food Lady — you referred to your ‘cats’ (plural.) You holding out on us? There’s Angry Donut and…

    Is Yo Mama back with you and the crew again??

    And yes, this is yet another super post! :-)

  25. The Food Lady says:

    Oh surely you all know Carl? No? Really? Carl is one of You Mama’s babies – she stayed with me :) She’s kind of weird, but I like her!

  26. Pssst! Food Lady! I think a raccoon swallowed Donut…
    : )

  27. late for work? you got a new job? :) did i miss this somewhere?

    i love pics of the WooTwoo.

    btw, there was this AMAzing australian shepherd here at the spca, deaf and blind, 1 year old. i think he’s been adopted though, he’s no longer listed on the site. i wanted him so badly, but i’m not in the place to take on such a special boy right now. here’s his info on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/weefaerie?v=app_2309869772&ref=profile#!/photo.php?pid=4600935&id=39323236926

  28. Shannon says:

    CatS? For some reason, I always thought you only have one cat, Donutz. Didn’t know you had more.

  29. My friend Dianna linked me to your site. She knows my dog is a female version of Tweed–old, frail, serious, sweet, liver/white springer spaniel–and she knew I needed a good laugh. Boy, did I get one.

    I have found that the most agonizing thing about loving an animal is not being able to ask what’s hurting, and not being able to explain why something has to be fixed even if the fix hurts worse for a while. It pains me physically to see my dog confused and scared. Tweed doesn’t look that distressed, but two days of crying from the crate would be hard on even Attila the Hun.

    Sniff that beautiful puppy for me. Best wishes, vagabonds.

  30. My mistake! I can see now that Tweed is NOT a springer but a border collie! But her face is a ringer for my field-style springer’s. Or maybe I just see my girl’s face in every handsome pup I come across.

  31. Your captions just crack me up! I love your sense of humor.

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