House of Pain

I live in it!

This week Tweed got all excited when we met up with a friend for walkies, raced over to see him and started yelping, and has been limping ever since.  I’ve never had a dog so prone to injuring himself in mystery ways that don’t show up on x-rays.  It’s a very exclusive club – member: Tweed.

But then Wootie wanted to join the club yesterday, apparently.  I left the dogs alone for a couple of hours and when I got back, Wootie came out on the porch to greet me, lay down, starting shaking and screamed whenever I tried to pick him up.  He wouldn’t even sit like a bunny for a liver cookie (though of course, still really wanted to eat the liver cookie), so I know it couldn’t be good.  Off to the vet.

Now I know what the insides of Wootie look like, and I also know that under all that lard he does indeed have a backbone, because I saw it on the x-rays!  The good news was that he didn’t bloat, which was my biggest fear (he’s not a big dog, but he is very deep chested AND he runs really hard after things which he catches and immediately eats).  The bad news is we don’t know exactly what happened to him, but Dr. Bowra believes he may have hurt his back or ribs, and blames Dexter for rough housing too much with Woo.

It wasn’t me. You can’t prove anything. What the hell are you looking at?

It was a sad evening yesterday, because Wootie kept moaning and every time he’d get up to circle around to lie down again, he’d cry.  I thought my heart would break.

Wootie is supposed to be resting, and looking sad so I can have photo ops of SadBack Woo, but this morning he said he felt 100% better and as soon as I opened the door he took off after rabbits and I didn’t see him again for quite some time.  There are rabbits, incidentally, EVERYWHERE.  They’re hopping across the lawn, running across the road, eating dandelions all over the place.  They even hop up on my deck, which is a great way to give me a heart attack, when on a peaceful afternoon 5 dogs start hurling themselves at the glass door.  Bunnies are very, very stupid. Or suicidal.

Anyway, Wootie’s new found vigor made me happy because I was trying to work out the logistics of walking 5 dogs, 3 of whom should be on leash (Limpy Tweed, SadBack Woo and Bitey von Snarlypants TWooie) somewhere other than my property, which currently looks like one giant puddle after all this wind and rain we’ve been having.  No matter how I tried to work out the logistics of it, it just wasn’t going to happen.  In the end, we just went for walkies through the Farm Puddle anyway.  That’s why doG made rubber boots, after all.

Our little river is easily twice its normal size and continues to swell.  I assume this is the exact reason they built the dykes in the first place.

You’ll notice in the bottom corner of the photo both a Woo and a TWoo looking for muskrats.  The longer TWooie is here, the more he continues to unwind.  I want to say that he’s starting to behave like a normal dog, but as a relative of Mr. Woo that’s just not in the cards.  However, he is really starting to find himself – himself being far away from The Food Lady hunting critters.


It’s a nice change from having him pressed fearfully against my knee as we walk.  He’s lost a little weight and he’s grown accustomed to my dogs being whacky in his presence and His Highness now allows them to wrassle without biting them.

He’s still a full time job to walk at the park though, because he’s got to stay on a leash and Gentle Leader so I can keep him from snarking at other dogs.  So being able to walk on the property was a bonus today, as it meant just one dog on a leash.  Limpy Tweed resents being on lead when all his siblings are cavorting however.

Gimme this thing, I’m going to go throw it in the river.

Uncharacteristically, since my dogs are anything but altruistic, Dexter came running to help.

So did Piper.

But she’s such a wee thing (though ferocious!) that when she went airborne the 70km/hour winds nearly blew her into the Serpentine.

Whoa.  Holyshit.

No fear of that for Dexter, however, who is a MONSTER.  He’s now as tall as Tweed and weighs nearly as much, even though he’s so thin he’s practically see-through.


Even TWooie gave the Free Tweed game a go, which is the first time he has ever shown any interest in anything resembling a toy or a game.  I was very excited for him!

Alas, his interest was short lived and he only jumped at the leash the one time before remembering he’s supposed to be a stick-in-the-mud fearful rescue dog, so his photo is blurry. Thanks a lot, TWoo.

Piper, ever the keener, concentrates *very* hard on making up for TWooie’s poor performance.

This weekend, I am going to try trialing Piper at agility again (for those of you smitten with the little witch, feel free to check the dumpster behind the Chevron off Highway 15, as if she pulls any of her favourite stunts, that’s where I’ll be tossing her on the way home).  Tweed is also supposed to trial, but not if we can’t get him to stop limping.  I’ve got him (and SadBack) on Traumeel, a homeopathic remedy that’s supposed to reduce inflammation and provide pain relief.  Anyone ever try it?)

And in other news, 3WAAW has teamed up with several artists of different disciplines to produce one-of-a-kind Woo-related objets d’arts.  Once a month or so we’ll do a “Woo Off” and these items will be up for sale for a limited time only.  There may be 10 of an item, or just one, and it will be available until it’s sold only, then it’ll never be available again.  I thought it’d be a fun way to a) earn money b) raise the profiles of talented artists and c) give you the opportunity to own very limited editions of cool arty stuff that none of your friends will have.

So here’s the question – would you prefer advanced warning of a “Woo Off” (ie, reminders for several days leading up to the sale) or do you think it would just be fun to !POOF! have the item appear on the website and you takes your chances that you’ll have popped in that day to see what’s up?  I can’t decide which way to do it.

In the meantime, don’t forget to check out the Wootube Cafe Press store to see some of the stuff I’ve been adding in my free time.  I know Cafe Press can be pricey, so my mark-up is really low.  But if you have an idea of something you’d like to see in the store, contact me with your suggestions and I’ll do my best to oblige!


  1. Evie Douglas says:

    I hate it when my puppers get owies. I feel for your wallet, too, as I just spent $600 to see if there was a stray bit of grass in Rosie’s nasal passages because she was sneezing so hard she would fall over & crash into furniture. Do you think its a coincidence that she looks exactly like Tweed but with no tail? Maybe they’re the high maintenance red & white variety.

  2. Ah, um, Food Lady? Mr. Woo is cute and everything but, um, you might want to consider…

  3. I would prefer say an email or something a day before to let us know about the “Woof Off” as I can’t check the site daily.

    I always love reading the blog though.

  4. Shellie says:

    What about setting them up as auctions? You can set the period of time, therefore peeps would know each week when it starts/ends?

  5. I think my Daisy is a member of Tweed’s club, too. I took her to the emergency vet once after noticing that there were bloody pawprints all over my floor. The stupid dog had injured herself and hadn’t even told me! So off to the vet we go. Except the vet could not find any cuts or scrapes anywhere on her pads. And yet there was so much blood, she actually bled through her bandage on the way home. Stigmata – my dog haz it.

  6. The Food Lady says:


    *note to self – make sure there is some Tweed artwork available*

    “What about setting them up as auctions?”

    Auctioned items would be something else altogether, and something else I’m considering doing, but this is different and I want to stick with this plan for now.

  7. Food Lady, you stop breaking your dogs. Don’t make me come up there! ;-)

  8. Laura L says:

    Sorry to hear about the dogs that mysteriously injure themselves. I’d have thought that Woo had enough padding to protect himself.

    Having a day’s notice that there is going to be cool Woo (or Tweed) objects for sale would be nice.

  9. I’ve got a little dude here on Traumeel. He was found with a huge gaping, infected, disgusting wound on his font leg. Likely caught in a coyote trap. Anyway, he’s arthritic (1.5 year old bc, awesome!) now and just did a two week stint of that stuff, it worked wonderfully. I’ve got some now to use in place of metacam incase he has a “hardcore” play day and needs something to take the edge off.

  10. Connie Brannen says:

    Enough with the Woo fans. Enough with the Tweed fans. Gimme all DEXTER all the time…. And yes, I’ve had good results with Traumeel and it can be used with NSAIDs as well.

  11. claire's mum says:

    I like ALL the dogs, alone and in combos! Advance warning might be good for items where you have a quantity, and do the “just appears on the site” strategy for items that you only have a few…depending on response, you might get an idea of whether or note ‘more’ would be a good idea…..
    I do worry that in giving money to the rescue that it gets murky as to whether or not the money is intended as donation to charity (the rescue) or to you and the Woofs and Woos (which I assume is not a charity – I am paying for pleasure received!) here in the states the tax folks can get quite picky about mixing the two kinds of funds together…wouldn’t want you to need to post requests for donations for bail or a lawyer, FoodLady!!

  12. Claudia says:

    My doG! Now I understood why you couldn’t walk the dogs on YOUR property! I was wondering why you were even bothering working out the logistics on the whole walk-in-the-park biz, what with Twooie’s temper and limping dogs and then I saw the pic of “river”. That’s some serious flooding!

    So glad to hear Wootie seems to be out of the Woods for now. Now sending the same Get-the-f***-Well-Faster jujus to Tweed and hopefully his limp will disappear as mysteriously as it’s appeared, SOON! – oh ok, within the next 2 days anyways.

    Wish you’ll inform of the possible piper dumping incident earlier! Some people need to book air tickets in advance you know…

    And that leads me to… yeah, maybe it’ll be good for ONE notice of the Woo-off in advance – but not daily coz’ that will make limited edition Woo sounds TOO desperate – but set it for random times (like it’s NOT every Wednesday) so it keeps people on their toes (but it’s REALLY because torturing people who genuinely WANT to buy Woo’s limited edition stuff is FUN) and when *I* finally get my limited Wootie Loot, I can smug myself to the bank. Or Paypal. Or whatever.

  13. Poor Mr. Woo and Tweed. I have a Bossie (Border Collie/Aussie) who gets a little gimpy after Frisbee sometimes (she just turned 7 but thinks she’s a 2 year old). I think I’ll give the Traumeel a try to see how it works. I read your blog every day so I’m good with the items just popping up with no notice.

  14. Traumeel lives in our cupboard. We love it. My dogs all do the weird mystery injury thing. Babygirl Keilana has a wrist that randomly starts to click. For days. Then not. We now go to a vet who specialises in racing greyhounds. He has intimate knowledge of all the fiddly little tendons, ligaments and bony bits that crap out when dogs run, twist and crash (don’t ask). So even though the dog is still limping and sooking, at least you know it’s the abductor digiti longus (or whatever) that’s sprained.

  15. Stefani says:

    I’ve used Traumeel for my dogs and my horses and it’s always worked very well. Another option is liquid arnica, another plant-based anti-inflammatory but it seems to help with mild bone strains/bruises too.

  16. I would definitely love advance notice! What if I’m running errands all day and don’t check the computer? What if I’m studying and miss it? What if I absolutely love one of the items and it’s really expensive and I need time to work out financing? That requires notice!

    Even if Tweed is acting completely normal this weekend (I mean Tweed-normal, obvs), what if he’s just recovered enough {or just anti-inflamed enough from the Traumeel} but not actually healed, and is on the cusp of reinjuring himself with any exertion? That’s a tough one to assess.

  17. Bunnies ARE suicidal!

    The books are freaking hilarious, if a bit disturbing.

  18. Leandra says:

    Any chance of a Vampire Wootie t-shirt?

  19. K9Feats says:

    For the love of Dog YES please advance notice . Not just for me of course, but for all your loyal fans that daily flout the evil IT guy at work who says “No Blogs” and do it anyway..becuase without TWand a Woo my life would be boring and meaningless. Besides , the IT guy is a wanker .

  20. am i the only one who’s in love with DEXTER? ship him to the east coast? kthxbai.

  21. No POOF! Something of a heads-up, YES!

    And what about Miss Piper? Eh? No Piper artwork? “The little witch” might just find herself in my house! How about some MadTeeth (TM) art? Too fun!

    And crazy-eyed Dexter would be good. And Woo. Woo is CUTE! And Tweed. And TWooie.

  22. My sympathies and get-well wishes to Tweed and Mr. Woo.

    I love the picture of windblown Piper. In fact, I love all pictures of Piper and would second Adrienne’s request.

  23. nickelsmum says:

    The windblown liquid look is indeed awesome.

    I second the Vampire Wootie motion. I only wear T shirts if they are V neck, which vastly limits choices (sometimes down to zero), but maybe a … mug. Yeah, I can always use another CafePress dog mug. :)

  24. Carolyn says:

    Traumeel…good stuff. I keep it on hand all the time.

  25. Yes bunnies are stupid (hence the term “dumb bunny” – at last that’s where I think it comes from.) I have a wild bunny who lives in my yard with a pack of predators:

    Good luck at the trial however, please let me know if Piper will be available. She and Kat will make a nice set – and Piper can keep all those a**hole dogs off of her at the beach.

    I have used Traumeel – works well for minor stuff but I find that if my dogs are ouchy, I like Ectogesic. The coated kind. However, that’s in emergency situations. I usually prefer not to mask any pain so that my dogs actually STAY STILL and not hurl themselves around like fighter jets in a dogfight.

    For my older dogs (and horse) there is this WONDERFUL all-natural stuff: Devil’s Claw. I actually had to take my old horse off of it because he thought he was 2-3 again (instead of almost 25) and starting bucking his fool head off. I thought one (0r both of us) was going to die. But it worked :-)

  26. Schnitzie says:

    I would love some notice, please, so I can make sure to be here, finances at the ready, to purchase limited edition artworks by Food Lady and friends.

    Here’s a challenge: My favorite art to collect and enjoy is textiles: Hand-made clothing, needlepoint works, quilting. For example, I would love to have a selection of winter hats with Wootie ears, or Dexter one-up- one-down ears, or Princess Piper Pointy ears (tiara optional),… you get the idear. I would SO TOTALLY BUY that. And I would layout some serious green for the privilege.

  27. Poor pups, spontaneously hurting themselves for unknown reasons. :/ Cut it out, you guys!

    Anyways, I wanted to stop by and say I got the Wootie Catcher in the mail! Thank you very much – I actually got it on Easter, so it was a nice little present to receive that day. Thanks again, take care.

  28. Advance notice always good for me!

    Love the Piper photo with his tongue hanging out…

  29. I’d love e-mails leading up to a Woo off!!

  30. Healing hugs for the whole gang! No more injuries that pick the Food Ladies pocket.

    I love all the puppers so pics of them together or apart would be great. I think we do need some “mad teeth” items for those special times that we need to get a point across to the dumb and dumber that we come across from day to day.

    A little advance notice would be good, plus maybe different times of the day that certain items would be available, just in case we couldn’t check the site if at work (like I am doing now). LOL

    Don’t worry about Greta and her V necks….just send her some round nose scissors and she can cut her own V. ;0p

    I would love a Wootie cup to replace the Jack Daniel’s one I use at work, I do get some strange looks from people that come into the office.

    Have a great day and hope all are well and happy.

  31. I LOVE your blog and your photos.

    I used something called “Dog gone pain” for my dog. It is a natural herbal blend. Got it on amazon. It worked great for him. Might be worth a try.

  32. Man those are some gorgeous shots.
    Would that first shot be the actual hairy eyeball?

    Landscape shot should be made into a watercolor for hanging over the fireplace.

    : )

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