Don’t mind us, we’re mindless

I’ve got Dexter in training to be a mindless idiot with no training on him whatsoever.

Say whuuut?

That’s right … according to one of the stupidest discussions on a breed board I’ve ever read to date, if you play fetch with your dog, you’re just an mindless idiot imposing your mindlessness and idiocy on your poor dog.

Poor dogs.

Stop smiling Piper! After 7 years of fetch, you are far too stupid to be happy.

Sorry Tweed, sATCh and 5 times Nationals Qualifier, your enormous repertoire of commands is a sham and all I can do now is hope to fix the damage that 9 years of fetch has done to you. You’ll have to stop looking so eager – I too am a mindless moron, and I’m probably too diminished to throw this ball for you by now.

*insert eyeroll here*

I dunno about you guys, but I think that’s a big load of hooey. I played fetch with my dogs just yesterday, and checked the ground over carefully afterward. Saw no signs of brains left in the grass, so I’m going to have to assume they didn’t become dumber from the experience. I might be dumber for having read the discussion though.

I like playing fetch with my dogs. And 3/4 of them like it right back at me. All the eye-rolling I did might have impeded my reading comprehension, I admit, but what I walked away from it with was the idea that border collies are too smart to play fetch, but stupid not to play fetch, and therefore, people who play fetch should turn in their border collie ownership cards and stick to goldfish.

Uh oh. Scratch that.

Mr. Woo, of course, doesn’t play much fetch. But Mr. Woo also sticks his head in thorn bushes, gets thorns in his ears, cries and bleeds and then repeats the experience the next day. And the next. Etc.

He *might* be kind of stupid.

Yay! What?

Dexter has a message for the fetch haters.

I do lots of things with my dogs. The other evening, I sat down on the floor and taught Dexter to run across the room and stand on a box. He knows sit, down, stay, come, gimme five, target, spin, get out, off, up, load up in the car, stay for paw wiping, tug, and my personal favourite “hugs and kisses” (when he puts his ‘arms’ around my neck and I lift him up for both those things). He’s 4 months old and he knows tons of stuff! My dogs get to for walks, swimming, hiking up mountains, to agility classes, to flyball tournaments, to friends and relatives’ houses … and yes, they also get to play fetch. It seems ridiculous to me to belittle someone for playing a game with their dogs as part of a well rounded life of a variety of activity.

Less theorizing. More fetch. Kthnx.

Yay! More fetch!

On one of our daily constitutionals, I took this shot kinda off the cuff randomly and then laughed and laughed. It’s like Wootie orchestrated it to not-so-subtly point out out how pathetic other tails in this world are, comparatively. Like, these sparse porcupine-tails are making him gag as he sees them fluttering around pathetically in front of him.

And it goes without saying, of course, he’s got no respect for the excuse-for-a-tail, the Naked Snake, sported by his youngest brother.

In other news, “Little Man,” now known as Journey, is healing up like a champ.

If Tweed doesn’t take him out first …


And lastly, the people who share my property recently moved in with their border collie, Kila. Piper Does Not Like Kila, who is one of those border collies who stalks other dogs who are trying to play, cuts off their escape routes and grabs fur as they run by (given the choice between a dog who is enraptured with a hockey ball, and one who is allowed to obsess over other dogs, I’ll take the former any day!).

Do. Not. Want.

^^ imperious princess.

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