They Getcha Comin’ and Goin’


I think I mentioned a little while ago that whilst at the dog park, Piper got jumped on by a large dog that was wearing, for mystery reasons, a very big and heavy carabiner on its collar. When Piper whirled about to fend off Jumpee McPouncerpants, the carabiner smacked her square in the teeth, shearing one off horizontally and splitting another vertically. Le sigh.

At work the other day, Piper flashed some Mad Teeth ™ at her brother over the prized object of Mr. Pickles’ apple core and I noticed that the split tooth was visible from root to tip through the gum, which meant the gum was receding at a fairly rapid rate. I wiggled the tooth and it did a little dance for me in her mouth, and was clearly painful. The gum was all puffy. My coworkers and I merrily debated the option of tying a string to said tooth and slamming a door to remove it, but in the end a vet visit was necessary to remove her broken teefies.

Poor Piper. She’ll be toothless at this rate.

I rob you of your hard earned monies. And I am proud.

Speaking of poor … I love working for a non profit organization that does important work for Canada’s fur-bearing animals. However, they may as well pay me in gumballs and unicorns for all the wealth it rains down upon me. Piper’s dental bill caught me unawares and in an, errr, ‘economic downturn period’ within the Food Lady’s bank account.

Ze times, zay are, how you say, tight.

So to pay the Piper (bill) I had to part with one of my more beloved possessions, my Rocky Mountain Bicycle commuter bike. Today I sold it to a very nice person who promised to ride it every day, and treat it with love and reverance.

As I stood with my nose to the window glass, watching the woman ride away on precious Joelene, I shook my fist at Piper and shouted “Curses! I wish curses upon you!

But she ignored me, because she was staring at MC Hamster, and drooling through her gap toothed face.

And then she went and hired herself a bodyguard. A muscley one with a fabulous ass!

Go ahead, beeyotch. Make Parker’s day.

Listen lady, don’t make me run really fast and put everyone else at the park to shame.

Oh, brother.

What Mr. Woo does not like:

Unneutered male dogs. He REALLY does not like them, which is something I only figured out recently. He borrows Piper’s Mad Teeth ™ and becomes very growly-snarly. It’s kind of a shock, because he’s usually such a genial fellow.

Immediately after this photo was taken, Mr. Woo tried to take this dog’s face off – which was hard, as the dog’s face was in his wiener. Woo does not like to be violated.
Poor Woo. Everyone laughed at him.

And speaking of being violated … poor Tug! Everyone laughed at him too.


And since everyone is being violated, why not a threesome?

Harriet does not participate in this sick doggie style free for all.

You are all perverts.

Run away! Run away!

Oh and hai!

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